Failing Paladin
by HellArious
Summary: He does everything he can to protect her, to help her get better… and she does everything she can to hide that she needs his help.
1. Prologue

I was going to wait much longer to post this story, until I had finished writing it, but I need your constant reminders to keep writing, so here goes. This is a story written in several parts, in first person POV. Each part is in from the point of view of a different character. There may be time overlaps between each part, but it's pretty easy to figure out since I'm writing it in a _somewhat_ diary style. Warning: this is rated M, people… so obviously you should be prepared to be offended. There will be something M rated in every chapter, and every chapter will be 10000 to 20000 words in length, except this one (it's a prologue). Oh, and if you read Elope to Iwa… this is NOT a happy story, and there will be very little humor like there apparently was in Elope to Iwa (and of course thank you for coming back to read this story after Elope's crap ending).

Hopefully I will not be writing as many author's notes unless I need research assistance, so I will not be addressing questions unless you PM me, then I might (no promises) I'm trying to make it more like a real story.

Also, really quick: everything I'm finding about Kurenai and Asuma's child is that is MIGHT be a girl. No name or anything. If anyone knows any information about the kid, would you let me know?

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September 14th, Year 3

Part One ~ Sakura

I was working when they were brought in, and really this is the kind of thing I would rather hear about the next day… but I suppose it was better I was working than someone like Ino. Ninja I can handle. Blood and guts, maybe a missing limb or two, and even the random sword or kunai protruding from un-recognizable bodies… I can handle. But this… this was just too much.

I swallow heavily, closing my eyes to run over all of them in my head. Twenty three were brought in, of them five were DOA. One little girl had been crushed by a support beam. Two women in their thirties jumped out the window to escape the flames. Two men, one in his late twenties and one nearly forty, both inhaled too much smoke after running back into the building to get everyone out. Stupid men. They could've lived. They all had names, of course, but that wasn't the important thing to remember. All their names were good for was to put on the death certificates.

Of the eighteen that arrived alive we lost four more within the first ten minutes, before anyone even had time to call Shizune or Tsunade. One was just a baby, who barely made it to the hospital before he died. There was the woman who was responsible for the fire, covered in third degree burns, and the only thing I could tell about her was that she was old, in her eighties, no doubt. The little girl who was crushed by the support beam had an older brother, who died just as he arrived at the hospital. The forth was more my fault. After quickly checking the man over, I determined he would be fine in the care of some nurses… but his wife was one of the women who died, and he killed himself, breaking a glass and repeatedly stabbing himself with the shards in the chest and neck.

After Tsunade and Shizune arrived six more died. One man from an allergic reaction to the medication we gave him. A women and her little boy died of smoke inhalation. An old man, a young woman, and her boyfriend died from their burns.

Twenty three innocent people were brought in… and only eight of them even have a chance of walking out of here.

I laugh dryly. It's not even noon yet.

I don't look up as Ino's painted toes and sandals step between my eyes and my view of the floor. Only a few minutes ago she had found me trying to murder the vending machine… I've since realized that was a little stupid of me and I don't really want to look up and see that she thinks the same thing. To my relief she simply holds out the cup of hospital coffee to me and sits down quietly next to me, waiting.

"I called your boy," she whispers after a moment. "I overheard Tsunade send you home… I hope you don't mind… but my shift starts soon, and I don't think you should go home alone." She's talking too much. We've all seen things like this happen… but it's never been this bad for me. If I had been better rested I would've been able to do more… but we've been so short handed recently… and I was also helping to train new recruits. I sigh, shaking my head. There just weren't enough hours in the day. "Would you rather I call Naruto?" she asks softly.

I shake my head, but can't bring myself to answer her with words. Naruto wasn't in town, he left last night. I would have rather she called Kakashi, actually. He was better at helping people deal with death. Maybe I'd go see him later, after ditching Jiro.

My heart skips a beat as the cafeteria doors open and the boy in question appears, cane in hand and coughing slightly. My heart sinks at the sight of him, and I realize I really wish she hadn't called him. The boy is wonderful, handsome, rich, and treats me like his queen. He doesn't hesitate to show his affections for me, preferring to shower me with gifts at every opportunity. But he's weak, and sickly, and not at all the knight in shining armor I wanted to see on a day like this.

His illness was actually how we'd met. Tsunade set me to the task of healing the second son of one of the richest families in Konoha, if I didn't know any better; I would've claimed she had set us up. Not that I minded… he was wonderful at helping me switch between being a ninja and being a human… in that way only civilians can. Despite how much I enjoy his company though, I can feel myself tearing us apart. He cares far too much about me, and he's just a distraction to me. He's dull, and weak, and not really worth my time.

"Sakura," I hear him say as he hurries across the room. "Are you ok? Ino called… she said something had happened. Sakura? Honey?" He crouches before me and takes my hands in his own, trying to get me to look him in the eyes. He keeps talking, asking me questions, but I tone him out. So many questions… He's talking too much.

I'm about to tell him to shut up, but thankfully Ino beats me to the punch, pulling him to his feet and saying that I just need some peace and quiet. If she understands that, why is it she never gives me any peace and quiet herself? I don't know if someone helps me up, or if I get up on my own, but I find myself leaving the hospital next to Jiro as if he was just coming to meet me at work. "Thank you for coming to get me," I whisper as he moves a bit closer, as if he wants to hold my hand. I discreetly cross my arms. I really wish he'd just let me go home, but we're already on the path to his family estate, and he probably wouldn't let me go home on my own at this point.

I realize that Jiro is talking to me as we approach the estate and he says my name sharply. "I'm sorry?" I ask, turning to look at him.

"Ichiro is home," he says slowly, as if I might not catch it if he talks too quickly. "My older brother, have you met him?" Have I met him? If only he knew…

"Yes," I say evenly. "Last month, when you were in the hospital, he came to see you."

"Oh that's right," Jiro laughs, shrugging. "Well you'll get to meet him again, I suppose."

I'm about to say I wouldn't want to bother him, anything to get out of seeing the oldest son who had seen me for who I was only a few weeks ago, and then chosen not to say anything to Jiro, but his two younger brothers cut me off, calling out their greetings to Jiro and myself. I nod back to them politely, and even smile softly at Saburo. He's the only ninja of the family (though I had my suspicions about Ichiro), and although I'd only spoken with him a few times I know he practically idolizes Kakashi. Oh if he only knew. Saburo pauses when he sees my fake smile and quickly quiets the younger Shiro, knowing I have no interest in talking to anyone right now. He looks like he wants to tell Jiro the same thing, but he would never correct his older brother… that's not how these kinds of families work.

Once we get inside I'm not surprised to find tea waiting for us. The maids here were always a step ahead, it seems. Jiro thanks the maid politely and after she leaves he pauses, watching me carefully. "I had something I wanted to give you… well… my mother wanted to give to you," he says slowly. "She wanted to give it to her daughter but… apparently there's been some complications." It's actually a fairly good joke, since she had four boys and not one girl, but I've heard variants of it from nearly every member of the family. It grew old very quickly.

"Jiro, that's very sweet," I say evenly. "But I can't accept a family heirloom… I mean…"

"She insisted," he says simply. "I'll be right back, just wait here, ok?" He kisses me on the cheek and then leaves the room quickly, a tad too quickly for a boy who has to use a cane to walk any further than a few feet.

I turn my eyes to the door opposite the one he had just left through and wait patiently. Even if I hadn't heard him lean up against the wall when Jiro first brought me into the room I would've felt his presence anyways. He's so familiar to me, after what happened at the hospital last month. After a few moments I drop my eyes and clear my throat. "Ichiro," I say softly. The door slides open to reveal the oldest of the brothers, leaning against the doorway as if there wasn't a thing in the world that could convince him to move. He doesn't speak to me, he hardly speaks to anyone, I've been told, but his eyes say all I need to know. He's curious more than he is angry, as if he's trying to figure me out.

After a few moments his curiosity overpowers his love of silence and he speaks my name in his low, raspy voice. It's obvious the boy never speaks, and I can hear the strain it puts on his vocal chords to do so. "You're going to him again?" he asks softly. I don't really have an answer to that… because I don't know yet.

But Ichiro isn't a man to accept silence as an answer. "I might," I mutter, not daring to look him in the eyes. "He understands me."

"My brother misses you," he says slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. "He feels he's losing you."

I look up to Ichiro's handsome face, half hidden behind his long, black hair. He's watching me evenly, nothing in his gaze says he's judging me… he's just curious. "He is," I say simply. I run my teeth over my lip nervously, knowing this won't make him happy, but Ichiro just remains against the doorway, watching me. I can't tell what he thinks of that, but I don't really have time. Just then the door Jiro left through slides open, and before I can say anything Ichiro is gone, as if he'd never been there. There's no way he never had any ninja training… he's far too quick.

"Who were you talking to?" Jiro asks as he comes into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Your brother," I say evenly, hoping he won't ask which one. He doesn't. Jiro places the small jewelry box on the table in front of us, gesturing for me to open it. "I can't accept this, Jiro," I say evenly, feeling my stomach flip.

"You don't even know what it is," he laughs. "Mother will be disappointed if you don't take her gifts."

"You've given me so much already," I complain, trying to fill my voice with love and gratitude. I fail. "I really can't accept anymore gifts from you."

"I hope you never stop accepting gifts from us," he mutters, looking down to his tea cup. "I'll still shower you with them when we're old and gray."

Such different lives we live. He thinks only of the future. I think mostly of the path getting there. He hopes for life, with children and money, most likely. I hope for adventure and a swift death when it comes. He loves me. I love only those I have lost. "You think I'll still be here?" I ask softly, not really wanting to dampen his good mood, but needing him to know the truth.

He is silenced by this, and after glancing evasively around the room and at the rays of sunlight coming through the window, or into my tea cup when that is not evasive enough, I take a quick moment to glance at his face, seeing the frown in place. He is so troubled by the slightest mention of mortality. I face it every day, and gladly. If my witnessing one death may save one or two others, well. "Perhaps you could pull out of missions. I'm sure Lady Hokage would love to have you working full time in the hospital. It would get you away from all that death."

Wrong. So incredibly wrong. The boy was practically raised in a hospital, and he still just doesn't understand. Being in the fields, hunting, killing, stalking. Death happens, more often than not death happens. But in the field I can prevent it. In the hospital, held behind bars of white until it is too late for my healing touch to do any good, I am useless. Fifteen innocent people died today… and there was nothing I could do. "No," I whisper, "I couldn't do that." I'd take working in the field over life in the hospital any day.

"Why not?" He demands, obviously angered by my lack of explanation. "Am I not enough for you? Don't I make you happy? I can provide for you! Sakura! I love you!" He never raises his voice; just intensifies his tone. I've never heard him raise his voice in the eight months we've been together. "Don't you love me?"

I don't respond, just stare evenly at the little velvet box before me on the table. I bite the inside of my lips discreetly to stop myself from speaking out. The box before me makes my heart sink. It's a ring box… he was going to give me his mother's ring. I get to my feet quickly, turning to leave before he can do so. "I'm sorry, Jiro," I mutter, "I think I'd rather be alone right now." It's a lie; I just don't want to be with him. The worst part is… I think he knows it.

Jiro doesn't move to get up, or offer to walk me home like he always does. He just sits there, staring at the box on the table. "It's your life," he says, sounding like he's apologizing. "But I'd love to be a part of it." I bite my lip, and then open the door, leaving quickly and quietly.

When I leave the maid in the hallway bows respectfully, but I just ignore her. I have to get out of here before one of his brothers, or worse, his mother, finds me. The house is actually quite nice, and Jiro is great, and his family is wonderful… but it's just too much for me. He just assumes I'd rather get married and have kids than follow my dreams of being a ninja, and who can blame him? His mother told him that's what all women want. The way he talks to me though, like I don't have my own feelings, but just share his… as if it isn't my choice…

I'm far from hating him… but I believe I've found the path that leads there.

The man at the gates wishes me a safe journey home… but I'm not going home. I know I won't make it there tonight… not when his house sits so nicely on the path between Jiro's and my own. Ichiro knows I won't be going home… Jiro probably knows it too. I hope he doesn't know where it is I end up whenever I leave his place, but the boy isn't stupid. I find it a little difficult to care whether he does or not though… it seems so insignificant in comparison to that little girl who was crushed in the fire this morning.

As I approach the door I glance around discreetly, but there's no one on the street besides myself. I raise two fingers to the door and tap it with the back of my knuckles a few times without hesitation. There hasn't been any hesitation between us for years. He opens the door with a smile, and I see from his state of undress that he knew it was me before opening the door. His smile fades when it doesn't spread to my face and his expression softens, waiting for me to say something.

"Are you busy?" I ask after a moment, swallowing heavily.

He steps away from the door without a thought, making room for me to join him in the small apartment. Once I'm inside I stare blankly at the pictures on the wall, wishing for a moment I hadn't come here when my eyes settle on the one of us years ago. Those thoughts are chased from my mind as he closes the door and slides the lock into place with a satisfying 'click'. In a moment he steps behind me, hands on my hips and lips at my ear. "What's wrong, Sakura?" he asks quietly, tenderly pulling me against his body. "What's happened?"

I shrug, turning in his arms to loop my arms around his neck. Understanding I'm not here to talk he lowers his lips to mine in a lazy sort of passion. He wastes no more time with words, or flirtatious banter, but simply pulls me towards his bedroom. He's lazy even now, slow and steady, as he pushes me into the mattress beneath him. Jiro prefers me on top, it's easier for him since his movement is limited, which was fine, but compared to how this feels… well… nothing comes close. When I dig my nails into his arms or back he just groans and kisses me deeply. Jiro flinches, and then complains about it later.

I push Jiro from my mind as the man above me nips at my bottom lip, sensing my distraction and trying to keep my mind on him. I don't know if this means anything more to him than it does to me… but for me it's all about the contact. It's about the absolute truth that this one man, just this once, isn't going anywhere, and won't be taken from me so easily. His silence is comforting as well, but then… he's never really been one for conversation.

It isn't always like this. In the beginning we were wild. We were loud and dangerously obvious. We would spend days in bed, shirking missions and hospital duty. We would sneak around, meeting at the dead of night in the middle of the forest or on a roof top somewhere, just for the thrill.

That first time we were together was no game; it was a mistake, plain and simple. I wasn't quite back to normal after the incident nearly two years ago now, and he stumbled upon me, drunk and lonely. He claims I came onto him, and he simply didn't see a reason not take a woman throwing herself at him home for the night. I don't remember much of our first night together, just the slight panic that hit me in the morning. Even then neither of us put too much thought into it, though. I had meant to leave before he woke up, and though he was awake he allowed me to think I had done so. I vowed to never speak to him again, and that lasted nearly six months, until we were drunk again and left alone in my new apartment. Somewhere a routine fell into play, and I've found no reason to break it. I became less and less drunk, he became more and more comfortable. We shared everything without speaking a word. Under any other circumstances we would just be together, dating, married even. We know each other well enough, we get along, and there is a spark there that can't be ignored. But we're past all that. What we have now is better. No promises, no rules, and no broken hearts. The two of us don't need any more broken hearts.

We cuddle when we've both gotten what we wanted. What I came here for, what he waits here for. It isn't because we're in love, or because we're happy and content. It's because we aren't ready to let go of this warmth yet. This connection. This security I feel in his arms, it's something that I've always felt… since I was just a kid. He waits until our heartbeats return to normal before he speaks, and his voice sounds unsure, as if he's willing to give up the topic. "Feel better?" he asks softly.

"Always," I assure him gently, only whispering as I trace patters absently on his naked chest.

He sighs, pulling me closer and brushing his thumb across my cheek tenderly. "Then why are you crying?" he whispers, showing the tear on his thumb to me.

"There was a fire today in one of the old apartment buildings," I whisper. "Fifteen people died." He doesn't respond, just listens. "I couldn't do anything for most of them… they died before they got to the hospital…" I shiver and he obediently pulls the blankets over us and pulls his arms tighter around me. "Some of them were just kids," I whisper, shaking my head and listening to his heart beat, slow and steady. "I hate when civilians come in… I didn't consider… when I started training I thought I'd be working on ninja… in the field preferably."

"You could join a team," he says softly. "I could always use a medic."

"That would be a bad idea," I murmur. Someone can only be healing and wonderful if they're a rarity, when someone is always there the effects wear off. "I'd better go," I whisper as I take a glance at the window. It's getting close to sun down, and I can't stay here tonight… Jiro will probably come to see me in the morning and I won't be home in time if I stayed here tonight.

"You can stay, if you like," he whispers, not daring to let slip what he would prefer. "As long as you like, be it hours or weeks."

I feel my lips attempt a smile, and my worries of Jiro fade away. "Alright, just tonight though."

"Of course," he mutters, a smile playing across his lips as he pulls me back into his arms.

"I need to leave before first light," I murmur against his chest.

"I'll wake you up at noon," I pinch his shoulder and he laughs, kissing my shoulder. "I have to go speak with Tsunade tomorrow morning, I'll make sure you get there.

I always thought this man worked a bit like a dream catcher. No matter how horrible of a day I've had, and there have been some bad ones, nightmares never follow me into his arms. When I open my eyes again I can see out the window above his bed a dark, grey sky. I run through my calendar quickly, hoping I don't have to work or anything and realize suddenly what day it is.

The fifteenth.

I smile and wiggle against the man holding me. He gives a sleepy mutter about black cats and starts to roll away. I sigh and dip my hand below the sheet, quickly awakening a certain part of him. I catch him looking at me through one, hardly open eye before he closes it again, pretending to be indifferent. I smile and follow the path my hand took with my lips, placing sweet kisses on his chest… stomach… hip… he gasps slightly as my lips reach their destination and his previously relaxed state shifts, to something entirely different. I glance at his hand, now gripping the sheets slightly, practically twitching with the need to press against the back of my head. I flick my tongue out quickly, making him tense up again, and proceed to tease him mercilessly with light touches and kisses.

"Kami, Sakura," he mutters, still sounding half asleep… but I know better. In a split second this man could turn the tables and take me pretty much anyway he wanted, and if I had any interest in doing so, it would be very difficult to stop him. Fortunately he has more patience than he admits.

I give in and, with a slight smile, take him into my mouth. I feel his hand ghost against the back of my head three times before it finally settles there, not daring to push, but wanting to feel like he could get away with doing so. I smile as his hips seem to thrust up slightly of their own accord. He mutters the beginning of an apology, but I cut him off as I take him in deeper. His fingers run through my hair, and I can feel his eyes on me. He moves his hand to touch the sensitive spot and the back of my neck, bringing a moan to my lips. He practically shivers at that and can't help his hand from pushing against my head slightly.

Normally I'd stop at this broken rule, but he removes his hand immediately and sets it within my line of sight, using it to hold him up. I glance up at him with a disapproving scowl and he seems to let out a breath he had been holding, now gasping slightly with each bob of my head. "Sa… Sakura," he gasps slightly. "Soon."

I roll my eyes at him. Of course I appreciate the warning… there's plenty of men, mostly targets on seduction missions, who don't feel the need to give it, but after almost two years with him I'm not caught by surprise when he finishes, I'm just as ready as he is. My hand joins my mouth, allowing myself enough room that I can swallow when he finishes.

He's still breathing heavily as I slide my way back up his body to use his chest as a pillow. I smile at his heavy heartbeat as I trace a few of his scars. "Happy birthday," I whisper. He laughs softly and leans down to place a kiss against my forehead.

"Thank you," he mutters, "that was… better than last year's gift."

I smile, remembering the cookies I had made him. Delicious, of course, but apparently not as good as a blow job. "You're not remembering them properly," I say with a grin. "Nothing was better than those cookies."

He laughs and glances at the window, smiling. "Suns not up yet…"

"It will be soon though," I say, knowing where he's going. "I'm going to take a shower… if you don't mind?"

I don't wait for a response, just slip out of bed and let him watch as I walk, naked, to the bath room. Sure enough once the water gets warm the bath room door opens and he joins me in the shower. He doesn't waste any time, but kisses my shoulders hotly before he presses me against the shower wall, pulling my lower half back towards his. We steam up the shower glass and the mirror in the small bath room at record speed and when we finally step out of the shower we have to open the bathroom door to let in some air. Before I dress I look myself over in the steamy mirror, unable to keep my eyes off the naked man behind me drying his hair with a towel. He's left no marks on my skin, as is the deal, and my clothes only have a few wrinkles. We have to keep up appearances, even if neither of us has promised to do so in real words.

He follows me to the door as I go to leave, pushing a strand of wet hair behind my ear, almost lovingly. "You're beautiful," he whispers, leaning down to kiss me sweetly.

"Mm," I sigh, pushing him away. "Ichiro's back in town… I thought I might warn you."

"Ichiro…" he trails off, unsure.

"Jiro's older brother," I say. He nods, as if pretending to remember him. "He walked in on us at the hospital," I remind him simply.

His face lights up in recognition. "Ichiro! Right, ok. So I should probably… avoid him…"

"Yes," I confirm. "He doesn't know I'm…back, or still… with you… so I'd like to… keep that unconfirmed."

"Did he ever tell Jiro?" he asks, his lip curling in distaste for my boyfriend as he says his name.

"No," I say evenly. "Though I don't think it's going to matter here pretty soon." He raises an eyebrow in question. "Jiro was… he was going to give me his mother's ring today…"

He laughs softly. "Can I come to the wedding?"

"I'm not marrying him!" I scold sharply, scowling as he laughs, probably picturing the two of us being discovered in a closet with me in my wedding dress. "I'm sick of him," I sigh.

He bites his lip and after a moment sighs heavily. "Sakura, it's ok with me… the things you do… I can deal with them. But… you're hurting other people. Jiro really loves you… you shouldn't hurt people so easily. It makes you cold."

I roll my eyes at him, "Gee, thanks."

"I'll see you around," he mutters, reaching past me to unlock the door. "Think about it though… I'd like you on my team again… and the space is open."

"I'll let you know," I say evenly as I step out into the early morning dark.

"Bye Sakura," he says, smiling and waving slightly as I leave.

"Bye…" I smile as an old lady passes by, watching us carefully, as if trying to figure out why someone so young would be visiting someone so old… with wet hair so early in the morning. "Sensei."


	2. Chapter 1

September 15th, Year 3

I don't bother going home, but head straight for the training fields. I really wish I had been here much earlier, but Kakashi can be so damn distracting. I smile as I pass by a few Genin throwing kunai at the area surrounding a tree, remembering the early days at the academy. I would normally stop to give them a few pointers, but then a Jōnin I don't recognize joins them, giving them a few tips and returning to the shade of his own tree.

He looks up as I pass and gives me a small nod; I return it civilly and quickly continue on. As I reach an empty corner of the training field I stretch before beginning to take out my aggression on an innocent tree. An hour or so later, I'm joined by a more than annoyed Ino, her shoes covered in mud and hair messy. Her eyes light up when she sees me and I dread the words that will leave her lips next. "I know you didn't stay the night at Jiro's house, Sakura," she teases. "So tell me… why are you still wearing yesterday's clothes?"

I roll my eyes and sit down, leaning against the poor tree I had been punching earlier. "I just didn't sleep last night… so I came out here to train. What happened to you?"

"Oh," she mutters, shaking her head. "A little run in with Kiba, that's all." I raise my eyebrow in question, but she continues on. "You didn't go home at all last night, I checked to see if you were alright… you weren't there."

"Fine, I slept out here, in a tree," I say, rolling my eyes.

"I think you went to see that boy," she claims.

"Which boy?" I ask, innocently. She only pretends to know about my affairs, preferring to make up silly stories rather than look for the truth. Last year she had seen me talking to Shikamaru about a mission and assumed we would be getting married soon.

"The one you saved from going over the waterfall two months ago," she says, as if it's obvious.

"Kami," I sneer, grossed out a little at the thought. "He's like… twelve."

"Sixteen," she corrects thoughtlessly. "He's cute." My face takes on the expression of someone smelling bad cheese. "Alright," she amends. "How about that new doctor from Sand?"

I shake my head, laughing. "That boy's motto is 'never do it straight,' you know that, right?"

"Well he's handsome, anyway," Ino says with a pout. "Besides, if anyone could turn him straight it's you." I scowl at that, wondering if she's complimenting my appearance or telling me I look enough like a man to appeal to him, but she continues without noticing. "Naruto? He's always liked you, I bet he'd be willing to be the 'other guy' in your life."

"Naruto's out of town," I say evenly, "and I think he has… eyes for another."

"I know, Kakashi, its Kakashi, right?" She teases.

I smile, closing my eyes as I soak in the early morning sun. "You caught me." My voice remains even, and my face gives nothing away… she was bound to guess that sooner or later.

She smiles and pulls a few pieces of grass from the ground, spinning them between her fingers. "You are cheating on him, aren't you?" I don't respond. "That's a really bad idea, Sakura. He's a nice boy and deserves all the love you have to give."

I brush it off easily, I don't need to hear this from her. "He deserves all the love _someone_ has to give," I tease, getting up. "Come on, I'm starving."

Ino follows me without further protest, talking about the flower shop as we stroll through the fields. The Genin have left, and in their place there's two young ninja, a boy and a girl, both with very short hair. The boy's shirtless, and the girl's blushing slightly as he touches her arm softly. I realize with a scowl that the boy in question is Saburo, and the other girl I recognize as one of the girls who failed the Chūnin test last year. Before I can convince Ino to go around them Saburo looks up and notices me and a second later he's waving me over.

I sigh and stalk across the field. "Hey Saburo," I mutter, "This is Ino."

He says something polite about meeting new people and quickly turns to the girl. "I told you I knew her," he half whispers. "Sakura, this is Mieko, she's always wanted to become a medic ninja, like you and Tsunade-sama."

I look her over and scowl slightly. Ino actually snorts in laughter. "No you don't," she says evenly. "Trust me."

"How's your chakra control?" I ask, almost feeling resentful that Saburo would put me in this position. It wasn't like him to be so rude, he should have brought this up with me in private, the girl doesn't have the stomach for it, and I don't like how nicely manicured her nails are.

"Above average," she says sweetly. "My grandmother was a medic as well, but she died before I could walk."

I turn to Ino and sigh. "If you stop by the hospital over the next few days I'll give you a few pointers, and if you're any good I may be able to train you a bit… I'm not promising anything, mind you."

The girl grins, reaching out to shake my hand. "Thank you, Haruno-Sensei! I won't disappoint you."

I pull my hand free of hers and groan. She almost certainly will. Neither Ino or I say anything as we push past them and take off, but I'm pretty sure Ino gives her a look clear enough to tell her how much of an idiot she thinks she is. As we leave the training grounds I'm surprised to see Kakashi, standing at the memorial stone. I would go to join him, but I've always got the feeling that he doesn't want to be bothered when he's visiting his friends. I hesitate a tad too long, however. "Sakura," he calls out, turning to smile at me. "Come and join me." I don't say anything as I step into place next to him, Ino just behind me. "You're up early," he comments.

"Never too early to train," I explain evenly. "You're up early too…"

"Ahh," he mutters, scratching the back of his head. "I had to go see Tsunade."

"Well we were just going out for breakfast," I say, nodding to Ino. "Would you care to join us?"

"Actually," he says, sounding surprised, "We have a mission… perhaps we could discuss the details over breakfast?"

"It's not secret?" I ask, throwing a teasing glance to Ino.

"What I… when I said 'we' I meant… all of us," he says slowly.

"Tsunade probably wants to get you out of the hospital after what happened yesterday," Ino says evenly.

"No doubt," I agree, smiling as I look at Kakashi. "More likely… Kakashi wanted to get me out of the hospital after what happened yesterday. You requested the mission, didn't you?"

"Is it a crime to want to spend more time with my favorite student?" He asks with a smile.

"Sometimes," Ino mutters, scowling at him.

Kakashi just gives her a smile and nods towards the village. "Shall we go?"

"I don't understand," Ino mutters. "I'm supposed to be in the hospital… not going out on missions."

"Tsunade felt that Sakura should… have some female company on this mission," Kakashi admits.

"Meaning she doesn't trust you?" Ino asks, grinning. I shoot a look at her, telling her to cut it out. Enough of this and she could make it weird… if Kakashi and I weren't already sleeping together, that is.

Kakashi doesn't respond, just walks with us as we make our way to a tea house. We order and when our food arrives Kakashi hands out scrolls to each of us. "We're headed to Tea country," he says evenly. "There's a woman there who wants us to kidnap her son, and then help her get away from her husband. Apparently he not only cheats, but beats her and she refuses to raise her son with such a father."

"Why doesn't she just leave?" Ino asks, scanning her scroll with little interest.

"Women there don't get to choose when their marriage is over, unless he proves to be unfaithful," I say evenly, remembering a good five or so women from Tea Country who I'd helped out of similar situations, usually seducing their husbands away from them. "Even then, however, she doesn't get to keep her children."

"That's horrible," Ino mutters, scowling.

"This man's rich, though," I scowl.

Ino obviously doesn't know what that means. Thankfully Kakashi steps in. "It means he'll be able to pay his way out of any trouble an affair might get him in. A court has to hear a woman's claim of infidelity and grant her the divorce. If he's rich he can just line everyone's pockets and probably marry the other woman as well."

I bite my lip for a moment and shrug. "We could fake her death," I say evenly. "You two can get her and the kid out, I can pretend to be her and when they bury me I can… come meet up with you."

"Unless they're into cremation," Kakashi points out.

"That's true," I say with a shudder, suddenly not liking my idea at all.

"We'll have to check into her claims," Kakashi says evenly.

"How about…" Ino pauses, putting the final pieces of her plan together before she says it. "Can you buy someone's wife off them?"

"Yes," Kakashi mutters, looking away from Ino as if not wanting to admit he knows this. "But we don't have that kind of budget and mothers are rarely sold." He cringes at how that sounds before he sighs and looks at us thoughtfully. "Tsunade suggested that we go undercover. She said that a couple who lost their child would be a believable type of person to take someone else's child, and then if someone switches places with her and give enough time to get across the border… then whoever is acting as her just has to get out. There's no ninja in his employment… so it should be simple."

"You and Ino," I say evenly.

"What?" Ino asks, shocked. Kakashi just scowls.

"If you're taking the place of a man's wife for a few days… you're not trained for that kind of mission," I say, tripping over my words. "Besides… it'd be weird for me to play Kakashi's wife. He's my sensei." Kakashi looks like he wants to laugh, but is too worried about my decision to take the risky part of the mission. "Listen," I say with a sigh. "You two can show up as a couple and go on and on about how you miss your… son?" I glance down at the scroll, "yeah, and then when you meet the mother, Ino, make sure to tell her how much her son reminds you of your son. Snag an invite to go to dinner with them, let the husband see you doting on his son, and then make sure no one sees you when the boy goes missing, so no one comes forward with an alibi. I'll take the form of the mother and wait there a week." Kakashi coughs as this. "Five days." I amend.

"Three," Kakashi says darkly.

"Three days," I agree, "playing the part of a grieving mother. Then, when I'm alone I'll slip out a window, drop my disguise and meet you guys at the border."

"And if you get caught?" Ino asks.

"Come on, Pig," I tease, "Do you think so little of me that I'd have any problem with a few civilians?"

Ino huffs in annoyance, "Why don't we just kill the bastard?"

"She'd just have to marry his closest relative," Kakashi says with a shrug, "Or the man her husband willed everything to."

Ino turns away, taking a sip of her tea to hide the looks of pure disgust that crosses her features. "Do what you want," she sighs.

"Now," Kakashi says, turning back to me. "We'll have to check into her claims of why she wants to leave her husband, just as a formality. I intend on getting them away, regardless of the outcome. On the way down there we'll take one of his boats… get to know the captain."

"I can go though his quarters," I say evenly.

"What if you get caught?" Ino asks.

"Then we'll have to split up before then, so no one makes the connection of us being friends," I say evenly. "That way if I get caught I can escape and you can be shocked passengers."

Kakashi nods, probably not liking that idea at all. "Are we done? I have to get back to the shop." Ino mutters, chewing on a nail.

"Oh, no… um…" I glance at Kakashi, smiling. "Can you get this? Meet us at the hospital once you're done… this is good, trust me."

I leave with Ino and she marvels at the lack of argument from Kakashi about having to pick up the bill. When we get to the hospital I stop quickly by the front desk, stealing the secretary's camera, before I drag Ino up a few flights of stairs and down a long hallway until we find ourselves in front of a glass wall, two dozen babies sleeping peacefully on the other side. "Chose your son, Hatake Ino." She rolls her eyes at me, but she can't hold back the smile that graces her lips at the sight of so many bold eyelashes fanning out on soft cheeks set upon button noses right above angelic lips.

"He's gorgeous," she says, pointing to one in the second row.

"Far too dark to be yours and Kakashi's son, though," I argue. "How about that one?"

"I'm pretty sure that's a girl, though," Ino says with a scowl. "Far left?"

"Black hair," a voice says behind us, making Ino jump. He's right, no way that's their baby. "Front row, far right."

We look down at the baby Kakashi had selected and smile. He was just waking up and his eyes were as blue as Ino's, his hair an impossibly light blonde. I motion to the nurse inside and she comes out to greet us. "Listen," I say evenly. "We're going on a mission where they need to sell the fact that they have a son together. Would it be possible to borrow that baby for a minute just to get a picture?"

The nurse turned to look at the crib and sighs. "I'll go check with the parents, Haruno-san."

"Thank you," I say evenly. The nurses around here are used to my odd requests. Often when Tsunade is handing out missions I'll do this type of thing. It proves to be useful often enough. When she returns she takes the baby from the crib and has us follow her down the hall where she brings us into a room. Ino quickly changes into a patient's gown and slashes some water in her hair, climbing into bed and tenderly taking the baby from the nurse. "Kakashi," I say evenly. "Go sit with her. Take off your headband, and turn your face so I can't see the scar. Actually, take off your vest too." He does as I say, rolling his eyes. "Try and look loving, sensei," I scold and he adjusts his posture to put a protective arm around Ino, gazing down at 'their son'. "Perfect," I mutter, snapping the picture. I'll have to get copies to tease Ino with later. "Alright, now to find a sickly kid."

"Sakura," Kakashi warns as Ino hands the baby back to the nurse and leaves to change back into her own clothes. I pout, but agree it's probably in bad taste to pose a sick child as a boy who dies. "Alright," Kakashi says, pulling back on his vest. "We leave tonight, seven," he tells Ino evenly.

"Ten," I amend for him, winking at Ino as she leaves for the flower shop. I turn back to Kakashi just in time to catch him smiling at me. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says evasively, his voice light with the realization that he'd been caught.

"What do you need to do before we leave?" I ask quietly.

"Nothing," he repeats, tone turning suggestive.

"Want to head back to my place?" Kakashi just grins and follows me out the door.

"You know," he muses as we walk back to my place, having stopped by his place to pick up his pack, "it's still my birthday."

"Is there something else you want?" I ask with a smile, unlocking my door and letting him follow me in.

He closes the door behind him and sets his pack down, watching me as I start boiling water. "Kami, the boy sends you a lot of gifts," Kakashi mutters, half to himself as he looks over all the half opened boxes piled up below the windows and under tables and chairs. "I want to know why you want Ino to play my wife."

"Maybe I get off on seeing you with other women," I suggest, smiling as I hop up on the counter, waiting for the water to boil. He comes around into the kitchen as lets his eyes rake shamelessly down my body, still obviously waiting for an answer. "Ino isn't as experienced as I am," I say evenly. Kakashi just raises an eyebrow. "She's only ever been with one guy… like… twice." He seems overly surprised at this and I shrug. "I didn't tell you that though. Just… be a good husband to her," I tease him softly, holding back a smile as he comes closer, leaning against the counter between my legs.

"I'm afraid I've already failed," he says, his voice sounding pained. "Here it's our wedding night… and I find myself being seduced by another woman."

"Oh, you bad boy," I tease, smirking.

"A beautiful woman, a woman I dream about doing dirty, sexy things to," I shiver as his breath ghosts against my neck and his warm hand rests just above my knee.

"What kind of things?" I ask, trembling already.

His hand slides up my leg slightly, sending a tremor down my spine. "Things an innocent girl like you can't imagine. Things that would make you scream out my name."

I moan as his lips ghost against my neck, making him smile. "Well maybe you could show me what you mean," I breathe, hardly able to get the words out.

He taps the bottom of my legs and I wrap them around his waist eagerly. He scoops me off of the counter and sets me down on the kitchen table, laying me back and showering my chest with kisses, slowly working his way down. He strips of my clothes with his teeth, and when I'm left laying naked on the kitchen table he returns to bring his lips to mine, nipping at my bottom lip as his hands slide over my hips and under my body, taking a firm hold on my rear as he pulls me towards him. I grunt slightly as my skin tries to stick to the table, but in a moment I've forgotten the mild discomfort as he rolls his hips against mine. I moan a little louder than I should and so he repeats the action, drawing another moan from me.

"I'm not…" I gasp slightly as the fabric of his pants brushes against my most sensitive spot and I lose my thought process for a moment. "I'm not screaming," I remind him finally.

"Not yet," He growls, watching me with an appraising eye. He trails his hand down my body painfully slowly, reaching between my legs and drawing a loud moan from me with one simple touch. I gasp out him name quietly, but I'm not sure Kakashi heard, for right at that moment the kettle chose to complete its task of boiling the water and a loud whistle rang through the apartment.

I slide out from under Kakashi and turn off the kettle, suddenly not in the mood for tea, blushing and naked as I stand in my kitchen with my former sensei. "Do you remember the April after you turned seventeen?" He asks as the whistle dies down. Of course I remember, it was when I got this apartment… and the second time Kakashi and I were together. "You were standing at the sink," He mutters, "wearing a skirt far too short… a shirt far too tight… and suddenly we were alone."

"That's around the time I started taking seduction missions," I muse as I start to pull on my shorts.

"That's also around the time you started dating," he laughs dryly. "Here we are, a year and a half later, going at it in your kitchen behind your boyfriend's back again."

I grab my shirt, pulling it over my head as I talk, "I guess we have some kind of metaphysical connection to-"

"What do you need them for, Sakura?" Kakashi asks quickly, almost like he didn't even mean to say it.

"Metaphysical Connections?" I ask, finding the proper holes and pulling the shirt into place.

"Don't play dumb," he sneers, shaking his head. "Your… _boyfriends_."

"Who do you think you are?" I ask quietly, taken aback by his blunt question. "You're not… you're not my husband, Kakashi, you don't have a claim on me. Don't try an act like you do." I try to push past him to get to my room, but he stops me with a gentle hand on my upper arm.

"You're right," he mutters softly, dropping his hand from my arm, in case I'm angrier than he thinks and choose to break that arm. "I apologize, I don't know what I was thinking."

I stare at him for a moment, then brush past him to my bedroom. "I'm going to get some sleep before we take off," I say plainly.

I hear him sigh as I start to close the door behind me, pausing a moment to watch him lean against the counter and shake his head. I bite my lip before closing the door until right before it latches. I climb into bed and try not to think about it as I hear Kakashi go to look out the front window, picturing him lean his head against the glass. It's still light outside, and the only reason I'll be able to sleep is because of the blackout curtains most ninja had for just such situations. Unfortunately my room is the only room in the house with said curtains. After fifteen minutes of Kakashi pacing my living room I hear him head for the door in the unmistakable sounds of someone getting ready to leave.

"Kakashi!" I call, before I can think about it. I hear him pause and a few seconds later he turns and heads back to my bedroom where he opens the door with a light push. "Come on, then," I sigh.

He steps in and closes the door behind him, throwing the room back into darkness. He takes off his head band and vest, climbing into bed so lightly that the mattress hardly even dips. He doesn't pull me to him, so I have to move closer to him of my own force. After a moment he wraps him arms around me, making it easier for me to reach up and kiss his cheek.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, "I over-reacted."

"Yes you did," he says simply, "but you're right, it's none of my business." I sigh softly, prepared to force myself to sleep when Kakashi speaks up again. "Sakura, if you have… ulterior motives for suggesting Ino play the part of my wife I'd like to know what they are."

"Shino's not a good kisser," I say evenly. "Ino isn't sure how to teach him to do better. I think practice with someone who is better will be good for her."

Kakashi is silent for a moment before he responds. "You want me to teach your best friend how to get her boyfriend to be a better kisser?" I nod. "You do realize Ino isn't going to want to kiss me."

"It's for the mission, don't worry about it, I'll take care of everything," I say simply.

"Will I have to take off my mask?" He asks.

I pause at that, not having thought of it. "Probably."

He pouts at that, but doesn't respond. I assume he's going to sleep when he finally speaks up. "Ino is dating Shino?"

I laugh softly. "And they're very happy together, oddly enough. Apparently he's very…" I scowl, trying to come up with a way to phrase it so Ino doesn't sound like a prude, while Shino doesn't sound a-sexual. "Undemanding."

Kakashi nods, probably not thinking worse of either one of them. He's always been good at that, though. "Is this ok, Sakura?" he asks after a moment. "I mean… I never come over here… I thought maybe you didn't want me here."

"It's more likely that people would find us together here," I explain simply. "Jiro has a key, and the Anbu aren't above picking my locks. Naruto and Ino both have nasty habits of just breaking down the doors and windows. No one seems as inclined to do such things to you."

"I stabbed Anbu who thought it was ok to pick my lock once," he says evenly. "They all knock politely now."

"I'll have to try that," I say with a small laugh, trying to convince my body that it's tired.

"What time do you need me to wake you up to get there in time?" He asks quietly.

"Eight or nine," I murmur, followed by a yawn. Apparently my powers of deception are strong enough to even fool myself.

* * *

September 16th, Year 3

Kakashi wakes me up as promised, asking if I'd like to join him for a shower. I agree with a bit of hesitance, remembering how Jiro is now paying my water and electric bills for me. I wonder how he'd feel about such usage of his money. He'd probably just ask if some scented candles or rose petals might make the experience better. We leave quickly after our shower, meeting up with Ino and passing through the village gates to head steadily south.

We don't speak until the sun starts to rise, at which point we stop to get some water and rest for a minute or two. "So," Kakashi says slowly, watching me carefully. "Have you given any thought to my offer?"

"Of joining your team?" I clarify, glancing at Ino as she raises her eyebrow in surprise. I shake my head slightly knowing she'll be the first to tell Tsunade that I'll be leaving the hospital in favor of hitting the road with Kakashi and his new team.

"We'd love to have you. Genma and Shikamaru miss having medics around, since they have people at home who worry about them when they come home covered in blood. We'll be a man short here pretty soon, since Harumi is pregnant. I didn't just tell you that." He glances at Ino, as if to figure out if she'll spill the beans to someone like Tsunade.

"Oh, who is the father?" Ino asks quickly.

"Never mind," I say simply. "My lips are sealed," I assure him. "If you're losing Harumi… then I'd be happy to fill the space… at least until a better replacement is found."

"No such replacement exists," Kakashi says with a confident smile. Ino scoffs at his cheesy line and we both roll our eyes.

"You're supposed to be _my_ husband," Ino giggles.

"Speaking of," I say, smiling. "You two should get used to the idea, if you're going to pull this off."

It's Kakashi's turn to roll his eyes this time as Ino's get as wide as dinner plates. "Don't be so juvenile, Sakura," Ino says, recovering quickly.

"Alright," I sigh. "If your cover is blown don't blame me." Ino glances at Kakashi, who is busy looking innocent as he fiddles with a shuriken. "Just kiss him once," I say evenly. "If you can do it I won't bug you again."

Ino gets up, determination on her face, and stands before Kakashi. "Stand up," she orders. Kakashi smiles slightly, apparently amused by her boldness and gets to his feet. "The mask." She orders.

"If this is just some big scheme-"

"The mask… sensei," I say evenly, smiling as I cross my arms over my chest. Kakashi sighs and pulls the mask down, looking away as a faint blush touches Ino's cheeks. She sighs, stepping closer hesitantly. Kakashi reaches out to put a hand on her chin but I make a small noise of disapproval. "She has to kiss you," I say with a smirk. After a few failed tries of Ino trying to get over her reflex to not let this man get anywhere close to her lips I laugh, cutting in. "Ok, Ino. I've seen enough, let me help."

Ino blushes kicking at the ground as I come closer. "Sakura, I don't need lessons from you…" she sneers.

"We'll see," I say with a smile. They step a ways away from each other as I come closer and I smile, glancing back and forth between the two of them. I reach out with no hesitation and take Ino's hand, pulling her closer to me.

"Saku-" I cut her off, touching my lips to hers sweetly, making her gasp in surprise. I smile as I tug at her bottom lip slightly, and pull away, smirking. "What was that forehead?" she asks, face bright red.

"Best kiss of your life," I inform her, ignoring Kakashi's explanation of 'hot'. "That's how you should kiss Kakashi," I say evenly.

"But he's… old," she mutters. "You couldn't do it!" she says simply, getting defensive quickly at the thought of me being better than her at something.

I smile, turning to Kakashi. He rolls his eyes, but responds like a shocked teacher should when I stand up on my tip toes to press a sweet kiss to his lips, just as I had done for Ino. "It's really not that difficult," I say as I pull away.

Ino is just staring with a hanging jaw. "Sakura," she says plainly. "I can NOT do that."

I roll my eyes and turn to Kakashi. "Perhaps you do need to start things," I say quietly, trying not to evoke Ino's anger. "Show her what she's missing," I whisper, not even making any noise, but moving my lips enough for him to read them.

"You think that's a good idea?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. I shrug and with a sigh he turns to Ino, looking as if he's just been sent out to the front lines in a war no one returns from. "Oh for Kami's sake," I laugh. "Seduce her, damn it."

He sighs, but none the less his posture changes, standing more like he's talking casually with someone and his gaze softens. Soon enough he reaches closer to Ino, taking her wrist in his hand and softly pulling her forward. She throws her free hand against his chest to stop from running into him and I step forward, touching her wrist gently to pull it over his shoulder and around the back of his neck. Kakashi's hand releases her wrist, but trails up her arm and touches her chin softly, pulling her up to look at him. He smiles softly and even I practically feel how her heart flutters at the beauty of his smile. I watch with a smile as he leans down, hesitating just a moment before touching his lips softly to hers. She sighs softly and he glances at me in one swift moment, judging my reaction, perhaps, before he deepens the kiss, grazing his tongue over her lips quickly. I nearly blush at the sound that comes out of her mouth and Kakashi breaks away, pulling up his mask quickly.

"Sorry," she whispers, blushing.

"No," Kakashi mutters, running a hand over his jaw. "No, that was good, don't be sorry. A very… realistic reaction."

"Damn," I mutter, raising an eyebrow. "That was hot, Pig."

As expected her face turns bright red and she promptly picks up her bag, hitting the road again. Kakashi and I laugh softly, but follow her without complaint.

We travel quickly for the rest of the day, stopping to rest at noon, so as not to have to deal with the late summer mid-day heat, and then continuing on until nightfall. We stop at the next town and Kakashi gets us a hotel room for the night, where Ino and I share one bed while he takes the other. We get enough sleep on a proper mattress to be able to travel lightly the next day.

We travel so quickly, in fact, that we reach the ocean, and our boat, ahead of schedule. I watch from the shadows of the dock as Kakashi and Ino board the ship and then slip into the dark water, silently brushing past seaweed and moss and a few curious fish until I reach the boat, where I climb up the side, clinging there, half in the water, until they draw up the anchor and set off for our destination.

Once we've left the port I climb up and slip through one of the windows into what looks like the captains quarters. I smile at my luck and start looking through a few of his personal belongings. I freeze as I step into a joining room to see a young woman sleeping on the bed, clad only in the silk sheets wrapped around her. That's probably about as much proof as I need, considering this woman… no, girl… is a good ten years younger than his wife. I back out of the room silently and turn to the door leading to above deck. No one takes notice of me as I slip down to the cargo hold, where I wait with the rats for the trip to be over.

I slip off the boat before we reach the harbor, taking to land a few miles before our destination and finding a secluded place in the woods to set my clothes out to dry. After a few hours I dress again and head towards the village, setting up camp on the hill above to watch over the village below.

I catch view of Kakashi and Ino as they leave the docks, following their path from the hills above the village as they follow the captain. I lose sight of them as they enter the largest building at the center of the village, which is obviously the captain's house. After a few hours Kakashi emerges from the house, pacing around the porch. I watch him for a moment before realizing that he's pacing in the form of an 'S' intentionally. Probably wants to speak with me.

I make my way into the city quickly, avoiding catching attention and hide in an alleyway down the street from Kakashi. Quickly turning into an old lady, I start to hobble towards him. I trip just as I pass him and he hurries off the porch, helping me to my feet and sitting me on the edge of the porch.

"Are you ok?" he asks, fake concern in his eyes.

"Oh fine," I respond in as frail a voice as I can conjure up. "These days I'm just not as steady on my feet as I used to be." I pause, trying to figure out what he might be trying to tell me and how I can lead the conversation in that direction. "You're new around here aren't you? Are you a guest of the captain's?"

"Yes," Kakashi says evenly, "he was the captain of our ship on our voyage here, and he wanted us to meet his wife… I have to say, she's not really what I was expecting."

My eyes narrow slightly, not what he's expecting? "How so?"

"Oh she's just very… devoted… to her role as wife," he says carefully. "She was described to me as being a little more… flighty."

"Have you been introduced properly?" I ask, trying to keep the scowl of my face. It would definitely cause trouble if she wasn't fully committed to leaving her husband.

"Not yet, but…" he trails off and I understand immediately that he thinks she's not that good of an actor.

"Perhaps she's just a different person around her husband," I offer, voice softer since this conversation doesn't really sound like one an old lady and the man who stopped her from falling would have. Kakashi nods slowly. "Are you married, young man?" I ask, holding back a smile.

"Yes," Kakashi says, rolling his eye slightly. "She's a good wife, very good at keeping me from looking stupid. Very friendly."

"That's wonderful," I say, a little surprised at his insinuation that Ino is playing her role well. "Well thank you for your help, but I should be getting home. It's a long walk and I want to get there before sunset."

"Oh?" he asks, trying to take note of where I will be staying. "Not too far, I hope?"

"Just outside of town, towards the sea," I say evenly. "I have a little house on the beach, with stones my grandchildren painted marking the path, its lovely." I watch and Kakashi pieces it together, eyes focusing slightly over my shoulder. When they finally focus again on my face I nod and get to my feet, wandering off at as slow a pace as I can. Kakashi stands on the deck and watches me for a while until a man comes out and joins him. Although I can't hear their words I imagine a light conversation regarding the weather, smiling at the thought of Kakashi having such a conversation.

* * *

September 22th, Year 3

I spend the next few days watching over Kakashi and Ino, taking the appearance of non-descript and un-imaginative people, wandering through town and keeping track of their progress. I even start spreading rumors about the couple, saying I don't like how they watch children, or even taking the form of a young boy and yelling at Ino, telling her she wasn't my mother in a crowded vendor area, then running off quickly.

After a week and a half Kakashi comes to see me, coming to the cliff above the mountain and touching one of the rocks there, releasing the Genjutsu that hid my small campsite from view. "You figured it out," I say with a smile.

"Rocks on the cliffs… but still able to see the painted house on the beach," he explains. "I know you well enough to know your riddles. How do you make sure no one sees you step out of thin air when you leave your camp?" I can tell he can think of a thousand ways to do it, and is just wondering what I'd chosen.

I smile, knowing how much my low-effort fixes annoy him. "I make sure no one's looking."

He rolls his eyes and sits down on the edge of the cliff, staring out at the sunset with me. "We'll be ready soon. Tonight, if you are."

"I've been ready since we got here," I say evenly.

"You'll switch with the mother tonight then, Ino will start towards the border with the mother and you'll come back. I'll come by around one or two and take the son, then you'll follow us in three days. We'll meet up in the port we took off from," he says evenly.

"What have you learned about the mother?" I ask bluntly.

"She's shy, very much submissive to her husband…" he trails off and stares at the sunset. "Even to her son… she only ever says yes. She calls him husband, not by his name."

"I don't suppose you know anything about her sex life?" I mutter.

"She seems very simple," he says, a slight blush brushing his cheeks. "Doesn't seem to enjoy a second of it, but puts up with him. Not that he's very good at it, he's like a child, going at everything like it's his first time and he's too enthusiastic to pay attention to anything but his own pleasure." Kakashi scowls as he describes him and I realize belatedly that Kakashi's dreading me having to play her role.

I smile softly, knowing he hates it when men like this get at me. At least Jiro pleases me… or tries his hardest when he doesn't. "Been doing a little spying, have we?" I ask with a smirk.

"It's my job," he defends.

"How's Ino?" I ask with a sigh.

He pauses, biting his lip. "She, uh… she's alright."

I smell social discomfort in the form of sexual regret… well this could be better than I expected. "Did something happen, Kakashi?" I ask, grinning.

"Nothing I have to put in the mission report," he says softly, making me laugh loudly. I quickly cover my mouth, giggling. After a while he sighs, turning away. "She asked me to teach her how to… please Shino." He grimaces and I can't help but laugh again.

"Did you help her?" I ask. He looks away evasively. "Did she blow you?"

"No," he sighs, resting his face in his hands.

"Hand job then," I conclude. "Was she any good at it? I've always felt a little out of my element in that arena. Maybe I need lessons too?"

"I'm not teaching you anything anymore, you perv," he practically growls.

I laugh, quickly rolling over to lean against him. "Please… sen… sei?" I whimper, trembling against him.

"Get off," he mutters, pushing me away. "It was very awkward, and I blame you." I pout and he rolls his eyes.

"You ate her out didn't you?" I ask, smirking. He doesn't say a word. "That was nice of you."

"She thought so," he says evenly.

"You're such a nice person, offering to help young girls in need," I smirk. "You dirty old man," I mutter under my breath, knowing perfectly well that he'll hear it.

"She started it!" he protests.

"No one's saying she didn't," I laugh, holding up my hands in mock surrender.

Kakashi gets to his feet and stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Let's go," he mutters. I get up and easily trail after him, taking on the form of a young girl. "It's rude not to return a favor," he says as we walk back towards the village. I don't say anything. "She enjoyed it." I smirk slightly. Of course she did, Kakashi's skills in bed were beyond that of anyone I'd ever even heard of. I'd heard Anko talking about a time they had made out on a mission that she still had dreams about… five years later. "She was very grateful."

"Finally," I hear Ino mutter, she and the mother of our target stepping out onto the dirt path from the trees surrounding it. "I was beginning to think Kakashi was wrong about where to find you." I take note of how she dropped the honorific –sensei she usually applies to his name.

"Kakashi was just catching me up," I say with a smile, staring Ino down as she glances at Kakashi for a moment before looking away. "I've got the camp up the hill, you can stop there for any supplies you might need before you leave. Kotori?" the woman turns to look at me, fear in her eyes. "I promise to take good care of your son while he is in my care, will you tell me what you would usually do when you get home?"

"Dinner will already be made," she says softly. "You only need to serve it. Hisashi won't want to sit down; I usually give up and let him stand in his chair after a few minutes. My husband will get him to sit down if I get upset."

"Upset?" I ask.

"Start to cry a little," she replies. "Hisashi won't want to eat, but he'll eat all he wants to, and then a few more bites at his father's request. Then I take him to bed. No, first a bath, and then bed. Hisashi is old enough, he just plays with his boats… you'll just need to wash his hair. Then put him to bed. Tell him a story about pirates. He likes pirate stories. Do you know any pirate stories?"

"I'll come up with something," I say softly. "What do you call your husband, Kotori?"

"I don't address him," she says evenly. "Husband, if I need to."

I nod. "Then what?"

"Then my husband and I got to bed," she says, voice softer than ever.

"That's it?" I ask, knowing she's lying.

"Well, no," she admits. "First I do the dishes. My husband reads, watching to make sure I don't miss anything." She looks down, then continues. "Then we go to bed."

"Kakashi, Ino," I say evenly, "go away." They leave without a word and I step closer, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Kotori," I say softly. "I have to be you. If I'm not convincing I'll give it away, and your boy will be in danger. What do you do after the dishes?"

She's silent for a long time before she sighs, shaking her head. "He… he likes to…" she closes her eyes, her voice shaking. "He likes to… spank me… over his knee. It doesn't really hurt, he just like show he's in charge. Then he'll… he'll carry me to bed and undress me, and then he'll… nothing special. Just until he's finished. Then he'll roll over and go to sleep."

"Anything else, Kotori?" she shakes her head. "Alright," I whisper. "Ok, then you can go with Ino, and tomorrow Kakashi will bring you your son, ok?" She nods. "Thank you Kotori," I mutter. I whistle and Kakashi and Ino return. I pull up a transformation jutsu of Kotori quickly and return to Kakashi's side. Neither of us speak and when we get to the village Kakashi leaves my side. I quickly return to Kotori's home, finding dinner ready, just as she promised. I set the table quickly and wait for Kotori's husband and son to return home.

When the door opens I dish up reasonable proportions and stand by the table hesitantly. "Welcome home, husband," I whisper and he comes through the door. He's a short man, a good four or five inches shorter than the petite Kotori, and he has a good amount of fat at his belly. His hair on his head is thinning, and the hair on his chin is neatly groomed. I half expect a monocle and cane along with the ensemble.

He pauses, looking at me with a frown, and then nodding. "Thank you Kotori-chan," he says evenly. Apparently she really never spoke to the man. "Did you have a nice day?"

"Yes," I begin, ready to continue, but he cuts me off.

"Hisashi needs new shoes," he says evenly. "Get those tomorrow."

"Of course," I say evenly. "Hisashi, please come sit down for dinner."

He comes into the room and plops down at the table, in between myself and his father. He scowls at me for a moment, and then turns to his meal. "Yes mother."

I open my eyes in shock as he obediently eats. Dinner is quiet, and surprisingly good. Hisashi eats almost everything on his plate, and then asks to be excused. His father allows it, and looks up at me evenly. "Is something wrong, Kotori-chan?"

"No, husband," I say quietly.

"You should be thrilled, I've never seen Hisashi act so… maturely," he tilts his head to the side slightly. "I told you he would grow out of it."

"Yes, you were right," I admit, having no idea of what he's talking about.

"Perhaps we should celebrate?" he asks with a gaze that wanders blatantly down my neck and to my chest.

I bring a blush to my cheeks and quickly get up from the table, bowing slightly. "It's time for Hisashi's bath." He doesn't say anything as I leave, but when I walk past him he slaps my ass brazenly.

"Hurry back," I hear him call after me.

I grimace, hurrying to Hisashi's room to find him sitting on the bed. "Where is my mother?" he asks softly as I close the door behind me quickly. "Is she with the ninja?"

"Yes," I say evenly. "But you'll be with her soon," I promise.

He nods. "I can bathe myself, if you'll wait just outside the door," he says evenly.

"Your mother said to make sure you wash your hair," I reply.

"Just wait by the door, I'll do it. I'll call you if I need help." I nod, surprised at how mature the boy is. When he disappears into the bath room I settle on his bed, looking over his toys and books. I listen for the water running and wait for him as he finishes his bath. After a while he comes out in pajamas and climbs into the bed, tucking himself in.

I lean forward and smell his hair, satisfied with the result, and lean back. "Alright, a story then? I hear you like pirates?"

"No," he mutters, "I want to hear about Ninjas."

I sigh, looking out the window. "Would you like to hear a story about the strongest ninja I know?" He nods. "Alright. Well he started off like other little boys… a lot like yourself. This boy was a prodigy. He was the best in his class… all the girls loved him, all the boys admired him… or envied him. He was happy, and enjoyed the attention he received for his talents. But then one day… something terrible happened. His parents died, and it left him all alone. His teacher took him in, cared for him, but from that day he was changed. He decided to follow every rule there was, to make sure he would not end up like his parents. He became an even stronger ninja, and continued to excel, and he became a part of a team, and soon, leader of that team. However, on the first mission he had, one of his subordinates was put in danger, and it led to the death of one of his friends. He walked away stronger from this… but he also realized he was wrong, that the rules were far less important than he had earlier thought. He realized that teammates and friends and the life of those dear to him were the most important things in the world."

"That's it?" he asks, pouting.

"No," I say evenly. "That man became even stronger, leading his life differently, putting others first. He became the top level of ninja, and then he became a teacher." I lean forward, glancing over my shoulder. "My teacher." His eyes widen a little at that. "He's known in every nation, and wanted in most. He's the man that copied a thousand jutsu, and he's the bravest ninja I know. He trained two of the Leaf's best ninjas and the second best medic to the Hokage, if I might say so." He laughs, making me smile. "He's a good ninja, anyways. A good man, and he's the one who is going to come and get you tonight." Hisashi's eyes widen and I smile. "But the thing is, he's like Santa Clause. If you're awake he won't come for you." Hisashi quickly lies back down and shuts his eyes. "Good," I say evenly. "And don't open them."

He nods and I get up slowly, leaving the room and turning off the light. I sigh heavily and head back to the kitchen, passing Kotori's husband who is halfway through the day's paper. I start on the dishes without a word, listening to the soft turning of pages, until I reach back into the sink of dirty dishes to find it empty. I sigh and start at putting the clean dishes away. I hear the man behind me chuckle, shaking his head. "Have you forgotten how your own kitchen is set up?" he asks.

"Forgive me, husband," I say softly. "It's just been a long day."

"Oh I know," he agrees. "I will sleep soundly tonight." I don't say anything, just continue putting the dishes away. "One would think you're going slowly on purpose," he says evenly. "Are you trying to put something off?"

"No, husband," I whisper, putting the last of the dishes away and standing before him.

"You've been very bold tonight, Kotori-chan," he mutters, holding out his hand expectantly. I place mine in his after a moment and he draws small circles with his thumb on the back of my hand. "Speaking to me, making Hisashi listen to you. I'm not sure I like this change." I don't reply. "Perhaps I need to teach you a lesson?" he asks. I don't reply, staring at the ground. His grip on my hand tightens and in a moment he pulls me down across his knee. My eyes fly open in shock as his hand comes down across my backside, the sound echoing in the kitchen.

When it happens again I have to hold back a laugh. This is nothing, it feels more like he's tickling me than spanking me. I can't imagine this man inflicting any pain on his wife simply for the fun of it, I realize. I have no doubt when angry he gets violent, men like him tend to, but on most days… that's probably why she's attached to him, she knows she could do much worse. When he mutters some harsh words of encouraging my reaction I whimper slightly, knowing Kotori isn't the kind to moan outwardly.

After a while he pulls me to my feet and stands up himself. With his hand tightly holding my upper arm he pulls me down the halls and towards the bedroom, where he commands I undress. I do as he says and he pushes me down onto the bed, not even undressing all the way before he takes me. I do my best to enjoy it, it's always much easier that way, but the man is simply boring. I can hardly believe he's aroused enough to continue, knowing what I do about that girl he has on the side.

Kotori's exactly right, and when he's done he simply rolls over and goes to sleep. I grimace at the sticky feeling between my legs, having to cling to the sheets to stop myself from rolling from the bed that moment to clean myself up. I stare at the ceiling for hours, listening to the man's steady breaths beside me.

It's no more than a soft click against the roof but at the sound I roll out of bed, careful not to upset the mattress. My feet hardly touch the floor as I move down the hallway towards Hisashi's room. I don't open the door, just lean against the wall next to it, listening. If I didn't know better I would've thought the room held only a sleeping boy, dreaming soundly. However I can picture Kakashi, leaning over the bed to scoop the boy into his arms.

Just as he's about to leave through the window, boy in his arms I tap softly against the wall. I hear his foot pause on the wood floor and a moment later the door opens a crack. "Sakura." I step into the room before he can protest and lean over the sleeping boy in his arms to place a kiss to his masked lips. He pulls back in a moment and I reach up, pulling down the mask, recognizing the motion so many might take for rejection as what it really is. He presses his lips to mine, giving me a kiss with no other meaning than a sweet goodbye.

"I'll catch up," I whisper as I pull away. "Three days…"

"I'll come back for you," he whispers. "If you're not with us by then I'll come back."

"No, Kakashi," I sigh. "Get them to Konoha. I'll be fine."

He pauses, watching me of a while before he sighs. "Be careful, Sakura. Don't take any stupid chances, ok?"

"I'll be fine," I promise. He nods and slips out the window, leaving quickly with Hisashi sleeping in his arms.

I sigh after a moment and return to Kotori's bed, slipping into bed next to the sleeping man and trying to catch a few moments of rest. It seems no sooner than I have closed my eyes that I am woken as a heavy weight is pressed down on my shoulders. I instinctively fight back, kicking the man above me in the stomach and rolling off the side of the bed when he releases me in shock. A moment later a jolt runs through my body and I feel my chakra slow and pool motionlessly inside me, useless. I feel the transformation jutsu fall away painfully, forcing me back into my normal form.

I take a moment to glance down at the heavy cuffs around my wrists, chains connected to them that are held securely by two men. "Who are you?" the man before me asks, raising his stubby hands and releasing his own transformation jutsu. He's tall, taller than Kakashi, even, with black, alert eyes, and wide shoulders. A mountain of a man. "And where the hell is my son?"

I don't say anything, as any good ninja would do. He nods and with a quick movement lashes out with one large hand. The next moment the world around me darkens and I fall against the chains they're holding me in.

* * *

Sometime Later

They've put chains around my feet now as well, I realize before I even open my eyes. I'm laying on something extremely uncomfortable. Straw, perhaps, and my arms are chained above my head. I can taste blood in my mouth and my head is pounding slightly. I'm somewhat queasy from not having control of my chakra, and my finger tips and toes are tingling slightly.

I open my eyes slightly, seeing figures around the room, three. One of this is obviously Kotori's husband out of his jutsu, the other two much smaller, normal sized humans. "You're a fool, kunoichi," he says evenly, his voice booming even though he speaks quietly. "You really think a simple sea captain could have control over a town like I do? How do you think I make any money?" I still don't say anything, biting my lip. "Do you know who I am?" Of course I do, he's in Konoha's bingo books. A rogue from sand, if I remember correctly. I don't say anything, however.

"Your friends got away," he says evenly. "But I have men tracking them. It shouldn't be long before I find them. Hatake might prove to be a challenge…" If he expects this to upset me, it doesn't. It doesn't matter if someone knows who Kakashi is… he can still kick their ass. "But that little girl with him… they'll snap her neck like a twig before she even realizes they're upon her." I smirk a little at that. Ino's a good ninja. She'll kick the ass of everyone who so much as looks at her wrong. "Haruno, right?" I don't say anything still, although my heart lurches slightly. "I've heard of you… the girl with the power of ten men. Pretty weak now though…"

He smirks slightly, taking a step towards me as he picks up a kunai from the table. "Such interesting hair… I wonder if it's true what they say… that it's natural?" I hold my gaze steady with his as he comes closer. "Care to make a bet boys?" I can practically hear the smirk that crosses their lips. "What do you think it is?"

"Fake," one of the guys says. The other echoes his agreement. "No one has hair that color."

"I think it's real," the giant before me says. "No ninja would dye their hair that bright of a color. If it's fake though… I'll let you both have a turn or two with her." I grimace as the kunai presses into my collar bone, drawing a bit of blood as he cuts off my clothes in one motion. "What do you know," he mutters softly. "Guess you're all mine then."

My body lurches against my will and a moment later one of the men has placed a bucket before me and my stomach regurgitates its contents. "Please," the man scoffs once I've finished. The man with the bucket scurries from the room, and the other one comes closer to the bed, adjusting my chains. I grimace as he spreads my legs as wide as the chains will make them go, and stretches my arms high above my head. I know Kotori's husband has a perfect view of my most intimate parts, but refuse to let the fact get to me. "I'm not that disgusting." I watch with cold eyes as he slowly undresses, watching me with the eyes of a man about to take what isn't his.

I can feel my skin prickle as the door closes, leaving this man and I alone, me naked and him getting closer to being so every moment. Although I'd often had sex with targets while on missions, I'd only been raped once, and that wasn't even on a mission. Usually in such situations I had the use of chakra, or at least a limb or two to fight off my attackers. But here…

I swallow hesitantly and calmly wish he's tiny and pathetic, contrary to what his true form might suggest. That way I can at least look at him with humor when he thinks he's showing me whose boss. I close my eyes and think wistfully of Makoto and Jiro, and even Ichiro, thinking of things I'd done with them, or wished I could do with them. When Kakashi's face flickers before me, however, I shoo it away. I can't ruin what I have with Kakashi by using memories of it to cope. I even entertain a quick thought of what Sai, Naruto, and I could've been if we were all just a little more adventurous.

By the time the man before me is shedding his last piece of clothing the idea of a good roll in the hay (I cringe, realizing that is indeed what it will be) doesn't seem like such a bad idea, even if it is with someone like him. I would never admit that he was good looking, but I'd been with worse. Goofy looking guys would do anything if you just gave them a little attention. He's tall, with wide shoulders and thick arms, and when he drops his pants to the floor I roll away my eyes, cringing. No luck on laughing at him, then.

"I'll ask you one last time, kunoichi. Where is my son?" he demands. I just look back to him, eyes empty. "I'll have you screaming here in a moment, one way or the other. Perhaps you'd better just tell me so we can skip all this nastiness." I look at him carefully, head to toe. He's probably only about as tall as Ibiki. As far as _size_ goes he was about the same as Kakashi… smaller than Makoto, if my memory serves me correctly. With that thought I spit at him, hitting him in the eye. He grunts in surprise, shaking his head and striding towards the makeshift bed.

"You'll regret that," he growls, harshly getting between my legs and lifting my hips slightly. "I'll make you regret that," he repeats, plunging into me.

He lied, he didn't get screaming. I didn't make a noise until after he had finished and left, and even then I simply whimpered softly. He returns a few hours later, with the same two men as before following him. He stares at me for a while before he turns to the table. Picking up a whip. "Do you have anything to say, kunoichi?" he asks roughly. The two men come over quickly and, only detaching one chain at a time, roll me over. When they step away I feel the sting of leather against my back, making me tremble. But I don't say a word. "Boy," Kotori's husband mutters. "Why don't you take a turn?" a moment later the whip comes down against me again, splitting my skin. "Turn her over." Kotori's husband orders. They do as he says, and I watch at he brings the whip down on my stomach and breasts, over and over again. "You're a fool, Haruno," he growls, breathing hard. "You return my wife and son to me and all this can stop." I stare him down.

"Alright," he mutters, "You won't return them? That's no problem. But I still need an heir… so you'll just have to give me one, to replace the one you stole." I try not to react, but I can't help the tears that sting at my eyes. He smirks. "You ready to be a mother, kunoichi? I believe I'd like a boy and a girl, so I have someone I can marry off. Perhaps two boys. Actually, perhaps I'll just keep you here, having my children until you die." I don't respond. Someone will come get me before that happens. I'm too important to the leaf to leave behind. Too important to Tsunade. "It's every kunoichi's dream, isn't it? To be a mother… selfish desire you can never fulfill."

I swallow and wait patiently for anything he might say that will mean something more than empty threats, thinking of how Kakashi and the others must be in Fire Country now. I smile softly, knowing he'll be back for me in a few days, once he's got them to Konoha, a week at the most. I can't tell how long it's been since I've been here, there is no natural light, we're probably underground, but it wouldn't take more than four days for Kakashi to come get me. Even if four days started right now, I could handle that. No problem.

"I can help you fulfill that desire, kunoichi… I will help you." I can't help it, I roll my eyes. If I wanted to be a mother I'd be a mother by now. Kami knows I've had plenty of chances. Apparently he doesn't take too kindly to my eye roll, for he is upon me in a second, beating me with angry fists. I'll have two black eyes and plenty of cuts to show for it, and I distantly hear the door open and close and his friends leave, leaving him to only loosen his pants before he is inside me, thrusting wildly. "You little slut," he hisses. "I'd bet my life on the fact that you're the best kunoichi in your village when it comes to seduction missions. You enjoy letting strangers fuck you, don't you?"

He reaches down between us to where we are connected and toys with the sensitive flesh there. "Hell, it's not so hard to get you wet, is it?" He pulls out and adjusts the chains, flipping me over and putting me on my knees. When he lies across my back I throw my head back into his face. I can feel my head bleeding from where his teeth cut into my scalp, but I also hear the satisfy crunch that means I also broke his nose. Not that my actions stop him, he simply punches me again and then presses my face down into the hay.

It gets worse as time goes on. It could've been hours, or days, or even weeks. It's hard to have a proper concept of time. He starts beating me more. The whip comes out often, and after a while he starts handing off my beatings to other people, though he makes it quite clear that no one is to take any chance that they might get me pregnant. One of his men starts burning me, pressing hot metal to my skin, branding me. Another cuts me, dripping citrus in the tiny cuts he creates.

When they've finished they send in a boy, no more than ten, who cleans my wounds and bandages them. He resets my broken bones and rubs what appears to be honey on the burns. Kotori's husband comes in when he's finished and I smile at the black eye he's sporting and the slight limp he walks with, probably from when I kicked him… was it yesterday? It appears as if he could use a medic. Too bad he's got the best one in the country tied up.

He moves towards the bed slowly, shrugging out of his shirt and watching me carefully. He leaves his pants on as he crawls onto the pile of straw, covering my body with his own. He leans down and softly presses his lips to my collar bone, where one of the burn marks is. He doesn't say a word, but my eyes shoot open in shock as he trails kisses up my neck, landing finally on my lips. When he touches my lips with his tongue gently I come to, lashing out and biting quickly.

He pulls away, covering his lip as he looks down at me. "And here am I trying to be nice," he mutters. "I wish to make love to you, Sakura… let me do so." I roll my eyes, realizing I'm lying in hay covered in blood and who knows what other bodily fluids, covered in wounds inflicted by his men and even his own hands, and this man wants to make love to me. I stare at him with one raised eyebrow and he seems to catch what I mean.

He stands up and goes to the door, opening it and stepping aside for four men to come in. Each one unhooks one of my chains and Kotori's husband leans in, picking me up off the mattress. The four men surround us and Kotori's husband carries me down the hall and into another room. I look around for any sign of where I might be, but the walls are plain white and there are still no windows.

When they carry me into the next room I'm surprised to see them remove the chains on my feet and simply chain my arms to the wall above the… bed. My heart sinks, but I slowly realize that I'll have enough chain to climb off the bed, or… strangle the man, if it comes down to it. Then men leave as Kotori's husband sits me on the side of the bed. He stands before me for a moment before he comes closer, touching my cheek with a gentle hand. I reach out with my foot and push him away, crawling as best as I can away from him. My muscles are tight and complain at the motion, so my attempt at getting away goes largely unrewarded.

"I'm not going to hurt you anymore," he says evenly. I make a face at that and he laughs softly. A gentle sound that makes me frown in confusion. "I can make you feel better." He comes forward and kisses me again, this time keeping his tongue clear of my teeth. He reaches up with a steady hand and wraps it around my neck, pulling me into the kiss and lowering me down to the mattress. I push him away again when he comes on top of me, but he captures my hand, squeezing hard enough to let me know that he could hurt me if he wanted to. I try not to react as he plays with my body, but my body betrays me and my mind drifts, allowing me to replace his hands with someone else's.

My eyes shoot open as a moan escapes my lips and I feel the smile form on his. "You body is trained well, Sakura." I wish he wouldn't call me that… I wish he'd go back to 'kunoichi', I wish he didn't even know my name. "You know what will make you feel better."

Killing him, I answer silently. That would make me feel better. I can feel my resolve slipping away and he showers me with kisses, but I don't want to do anything about it. Soon he is inside of me and whispering lies in my ear, making me gasp for breath. He asks me questions, but I don't answer. I don't even know what he's asking. Then he whispers a name in my ear, tells me to scream it, and to my disgust I do as he says, digging my fingernails into his bare shoulders and clenching around him.

I don't remember going to sleep, which is probably why I wake up as I do. I nearly hurl when I come to, and actually do dry heave a few times, before I begin to hyperventilate. He's still here, on top of me, _inside_ of me, and with every second he's getting harder, waking up in the position he probably finds much more favorable than I do. I don't remember him leaving last night, but I certainly don't remember him staying.

I feel my face twist with distaste as he starts to wake up, hardening inside of me. He turns my face to look at him and smiles. "You certainly weren't disgusted last night. You came, twice… you even screamed my name. You practically begged for me," I shake my head, knowing it's all only half true.

My heart pounds in my chest as I turn my eyes towards the door. Even without being able to feel his chakra. I gasp out in shock, and quickly wrap my arms around the man above me, pulling the chains tightly around his neck. He pulls away, hitting me several times before the door is throw open and in a second the man is pulled out of and off of me, pinned against the wall with kunai buried handle deep in his neck and chest.

And then my Kakashi is there, breaking my chains and pulling me into his arms. I can feel some of the pain ebb as my chakra rushes to heal it, and in a moment my strength begins to return to me. He kisses the top of my head, stopping to smell my hair, and then quickly pulls my naked body into his arms and carries me out of that horrible place. I don't look around as he carries me, not wanting to see the dead and dying people scattered through the halls. The sun is low in the sky when he breaks down a door and carries me into the outside world.

I glance around then, realizing we are on the beach just below the cliffs where I had originally set up camp. Without pause he crosses the beach to the little hut there and nudges open the door. He sets me down on the bed and turns around, grabbing something from the floor and setting it next to me. I stare at it for a moment before I realize what it is… my bag I had brought with me on this mission, with my clothes I usually slept in. I pull on the white tank top and green shorts, shivering slightly as the afternoon wind blows through the cabin.

Once I dress I start looking over my wounds. I don't heal any, not yet. I want to have enough energy to get home, hopefully in one day. "Are you ok?" he asks so quietly I hardly hear him. I look up in shock, surprised to hear the pain in his voice, and then roll my eyes, looking back to my broken fingers which the boy had set for me. I wonder distantly if Kakashi had killed him too. No matter.

I'm looking at a particularly bad bite mark on my left breast when Kakashi interrupts me. "Sakura…" he whispers, keeping to his side of the cabin. "You're with me… Kakashi. You're allowed to talk." I nod, knowing perfectly well what he's scared off. Many ninja held for long periods of time don't talk again. We're trained not to talk, so we can't answer any questions. Sometimes it's hard to start again. "Just say one word, so I know that you can," he practically begs.

"How long?" I ask after a moment, happy with how even my voice sounds.

"Just over a week," he replies, relief in his voice as he stares down at his hands. "I gave you four days there, a day to catch up with us, then I came back for you. It took me a while to find you. It'll be October after midnight."

I nod, biting my lip. Eight days I spent with that man, seven of them in chains. "Kotori?" I ask after a moment, keeping my voice as steady as before.

"Genma was heading back home with a team. Our paths crossed so he and Ino took them the rest of the way back to Konoha with Hisashi," he mutters. "They'll be staying there, I think." I feel a shiver run through me as I pull the thin tank top back into place and I can't help but notice how Kakashi's eyes dart down to my chest, if only for a moment. I cross my bruised arms over my chest and pull back slightly, not able to look at him anymore. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he mutters in apology, realizing he'd been caught. He shrugs off his Jōnin vest then, offering it to me. "Old habits," he says simply, as if that explains everything.

Once I have the vest on Kakashi gets up and announces we should keep moving. I nod and start to get to my feet, but I have to pause, my face twisted in pain. I'm _sore_. I don't think I could stand up, much less walk home. Kakashi looks at me for a moment and sighs, offering to carry me. "What happened?" he asks as we leave the hut and the dreadful town behind.

"He discovered it wasn't me that first night," I whisper. "Sometime after you left, he knew it was me, slapped some chakra-suppressing bracelets on me and tied me up in the basement I suppose. He and his friends beat me, tried to figure out where we had taken Hisashi. He decided that if he couldn't have his son back he'd just have me give him a new one."

Kakashi prickles at that and I go silent. "Kami, Sakura I'm so sorry," he whispers.

"If it hadn't been me it would've been Kotori," I respond evenly.

Kakashi is silent for a long time before he speaks again. "You spent too much time with me when you were a child," he mutters. "Giving up everything to protect someone you hardly know… sounds like something I would do." Neither of us so much as smile at his little joke. He had a death wish, that's all. When the silence falls between us it's uncomfortable and suffocating. Fortunately, Kakashi speaks again. "I never noticed… how kind-hearted you are," he mutters. "It's an unusual trait for a ninja."

"You mean it's a deadly trait for a ninja," I amend for him, resting my forehead on his shoulder to get a few minutes of sleep.

"I hope not," he says, his voice holding a certain warmth I'd never heard before in his voice.

"You could have been hurt, Kakashi," I mutter against his neck, feeling the heat of his skin through my thin tank top. "It was stupid to rush in like that… he was a ninja from sand."

"Really?" he asks roughly, "Are you really upset with me for saving your life?"

"I was fine," I snap back. He stops roughly, making me gasp in pain as I bounce against his hips awkwardly. "Son of a bitch," I hiss under my breath, tears stinging at my eyes.

"Could have fooled me," he grunts, continuing on at his previous pace.

* * *

October 2nd, Year 3

When we arrive in Konoha it's around two in the morning. I'm half asleep on Kakashi's back and still wearing his vest. He asks me if I want to walk, and I try, but my legs have very little feeling in them and I get light headed every time I take a step. So it happens that Konoha's first sight of me after my 'well paid vacation' is a wonderful image of me passed out on my ex-sensei's back, wearing his vest, his hands holding onto my bare legs, and various scars and welts on most of my exposed skin. Wonderful.

Neither of the two ninja at the gates says a word as Kakashi strides past them confidently. I keep my eyes closed as he takes me (by rooftop) to the Hokage tower, wanting to avoid any crowds of people coming home from bars. When Shizune sees us coming down the hall she jumps up and throws open the Hokage's door. I don't listen to what she says, but I hear people pass us as we near her office door, and I can feel their eyes on me. I wonder if it's someone I know, but there's nothing in this world that could get me to check.

Shizune closes the door after us once we're in the room and quickly brings a chair forward for me. "Oh Sakura," Tsunade whispers as Kakashi sets me down carefully in the wooden chair, clinging to me for a moment longer that he should need to before I push him away gently. Really I just touch two fingers to his arm, a gesture so small no one would see it.

"It's not as bad as it looks," I whisper, looking down at the corner of her desk.

She sighs as my lips cracks when I fake a smile. "Kakashi… leave us." Kakashi only hesitates for a moment or two before he backs towards the door, glancing at the two other women in the room before he steps outside, no doubt waiting just beyond the door. No one speaks for a long moment and I'm reminded of the last time I sat in her office for a very similar reason two years ago. "How long were you with him?" she asks, knowing the look on my face well.

"A week," I reply easily.

She shakes her head, putting her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry, Sakura... I never thought-"

"Hokage-sama," I cut in. "The mission was a success, and in the process a rogue ninja from sand who is in our bingo book was killed."

She stares down at her desk for a long time before she finally raises her eyes to meet mine. "Were you protected?"

"No," I admit simply.

She just sighs, again. "We'll do a blood test tomorrow, if that's negative I'll do an exam as well, or you could do it yourself, and I'll see if I can't patch up a few of those wounds."

"We'll do the blood test," I agree, "but I'll heal my own cuts and bruises."

She sighs heavily, waving me out the door. I force myself to my feet and try not to stumble on my way to the door. "Kakashi," Tsunade calls once the door is open. "Take her home. Her home." She clarifies after a moment. I wince at the meaning behind her words, wondering if she actually has reason to believe he might take me to his place. Once I'm in the hall way Kakashi easily picks me up, taking me to my home by way of rooftops, the sky now grey as morning approaches. I swear, he knows the rooftops in this city better than he knows its streets.

When he slips through my bedroom window he starts to set me down, but I shake my head. "Shower," I whisper. He nods, setting me on the counter before he goes to turn on the water, waiting for it to heat up.

"Can I get you something?" he asks, seemingly at a loss. "Coffee? Dinner? Dessert? Tea? Alcohol of some kind?"

I smile softly, as I take off his Jōnin vest, as if trying out the expression. "You can get an extra towel for yourself," I mutter, carefully lowering myself off the counter and stepping into the shower, clothes and all. "Come wash my hair," I call, taking a deep breath as steam starts to rise around me. Kakashi appears at the shower door, hesitant. "Relax," I whisper, holding out my hand to him. "I just… want to be close to you right now."

"Me?" he asks, disbelieving such a thing is possible.

"You're my constant, Kakashi," I mutter, pushing water away from my eyes. "And I need consistency more than ever."

Kakashi sighs and disappears from view, but returns a few moments later, having gone with the more traditional method of removing one's clothes before entering water. I smile sadly, turning my back to him. He obediently washes my hair, taking great care to keep the shampoo out of my eyes, and keeps his lower body away from mine. Once he's rinsed the shampoo out, he hesitantly touches his finger tips to the hem of my drenched shirt, pulling it away from my skin gently. I nod softly, lifting my arms above my head as he pulls the shirt off slowly, willing to stop at the first sign of a tensed muscle or hitched breath.

He reaches out carefully, analyzing my reaction, as he runs a finger along the bite mark I had been looking at earlier. I dip my head, pulling his hand away from the scar to touch his hand to my cheek. His gentle touch turns loving in a second, wrapping around my neck, just under my ear, and cradling my head in his hand. I take a step closer and he brings up his other hand, gently pulling my lips to his.

I can feel how he would like to wrap his arms around me, to pull me into his arms and never let go, but he keeps a distance between us, so only our hands and lips touch. When he pulls away he looks at me sadly, more pain in his eyes than there are in mine. My heart clenches for a moment as I think that, perhaps, he isn't distancing himself for my good, but for his. Maybe he doesn't want to be with me now as he had before, and is pushing me away because he is disgusted with me.

I look away quickly before my thoughts can show on my face and turn into the water, hoping that if I cry he won't realize. "Maybe you could make us some tea," I whisper, dropping my hands to my sides.

He nods slowly, stepping out of the shower and drying off quickly. I sigh heavily, stripping off my shorts and finishing my shower quickly. When I open the bathroom door I have to pause, startled at another voice coming from the kitchen.

"Of course," Kakashi practically growls, "But she's just returned from a mission and isn't quite feeling herself, so I'll have to ask you to come back later."

"I'm her boyfriend!" I hear Jiro state plainly, anger in his voice I've never heard before. I wonder distantly if he's that quick to learn of my arrival or if I had simply been in the shower a long longer than I thought. A few days, maybe.

"And I'm the person she came to for comfort," Kakashi counters. I sigh, pushing open the door of the bedroom to reveal myself, wrapped in a towel. I look over Kakashi, but his hair is dry and he's dressed again, which might say more for my second solution. He's practically trying to throw Jiro out the door though, which just makes me sigh. "Your tea is on the counter," he mutters over his shoulder, suppressing the anger he feels for Jiro.

"Thank you," I whisper, limping towards the kitchen. "Jiro, I don't want you here." This isn't where he belongs in my life. He's supposed to be my civilian part, not the part that finds out just what a ninja's life is like.

Both men look at me in shock, but Kakashi recovers quickly, smirking slightly. "Sa-Sakura," Jiro gasps in shock. "What happened to you?" he asks, "you look horrible, you need to get to the hospital."

"I am the hospital," I snap at him, harsher than I intended. I look away, knowing full well how much my next words will hurt him. "Kakashi means more to me than you ever will, and I'm not going to put up with you today just because your ego can't take the hit. He knows how to take care of me right now, and you don't. Just go home." I don't look up as Jiro turns and leaves, so I don't know if he did so of his own free will or if Kakashi helped him along. I sigh though, as Kakashi locks the door, leaning against heavily. "Thank you for the tea," I mutter before raising the cup to my lips.

Kakashi nods, sinking down against the door and leaning his head back against it. I smile at this and get up from the counter, making my way to Kakashi as sliding down the wall to sit next to him, still wrapped in my towel. I lean my head on his shoulder, sighing heavily as a sharp pain shoots through my hip. I move my towel out of the way to look at the spreading bruise there.

"What are you thinking?" He asks softly, nudging me with his shoulder playfully.

I look up at him, tears in my eyes. "I don't want to do this Kakashi."

He frowns, playfulness gone in a moment, "do what?"

"I can't go through this again… like last time…" I shake my head and he keeps his mouth closed. He promised me he would always listen if I wanted to talk about what happened all those years ago. So far I hadn't really taken him up on that offer. "I don't want to face it… I didn't like facing it. I want to pretend it was something I read in some horribly sad novel written by a horribly talented writer good enough to make me feel like I was the main character. I want to ignore it."

He smiles, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me against his chest. He kisses the top of my head lovingly. "Ignore it then," he mutters. "Pretend you never went on that mission… hell, pretend you're not even a ninja. You're just a normal girl, a nurse at the local hospital, who lives by herself, and-"

"No," I mutter. "I live with my husband," I say evenly. "If I can't be a ninja I want to be married."

He pauses, seemingly a little shocked, but pulls himself together. "Is that what I'd be to you if you weren't a ninja?" he asks; a smirk on his face.

"No," I tease with a sad smile. "That's what Jiro is… he happens to be out of town. You're my boyfriend."

"So I'm still stuck slipping out the bathroom window when your man comes home?" he teases, but I can see a bit of the hurt I've caused him, so I take it back.

"Alright, fine," I sigh. "You can be my husband."

"So you're a nurse, married to a man a few years older than her, who enjoys long showers and hot tea," he says evenly.

"I enjoy warmth," I conclude. His arm snakes around my shoulders and he pulls me against his chest.

"You can go ahead and pretend you're that girl, Sakura… but one day you're going to have to wake up. And it'll be painful, and you'll hate every moment of it… but when you do…" he reaches down, pulling my chin up so I have to look at him. "When you do wake up I will be right there for you, as long as you need me to be."

* * *

NO LONGER STORY

Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom, the Naruto movie… is it just me or is Kakashi especially hot in that one? Seriously. And I have previously said I don't like Sakura… this movie: she kicked ass in a totally ninja way. I take it back. And oh my god in the credits there's a picture of Kakashi doing shirtless pushups in bed. *hehehe* Oh man, I have a problem.


	3. Chapter 2

Ok, so here's the warning I probably should have put on chapter 1, although a repeat of the warning I put on the prologue, maybe this time you'll believe me. This is a VERY dark story. It has about half a paragraph of a happy ending, but everything else is dark, dark, dark. Sakura's past won't be gone into detail from her pov, so I probably won't write another rape scene and if I do I will warn you before hand, as I failed to do in the last chapter. The one in the last chapter wasn't entirely necessary I suppose but I think it shows you what type of person Sakura has become more than anything else I could write.

So once more: this story is dark. However, it is a work of complete and utter fiction.

* * *

October 1, Year 1

Part Two ~ Kakashi

The music here was always too loud. It wasn't that it was too loud by normal standards, only when compared to the fact that this was supposed to be a restaurant. There was a dance floor, and a DJ booth, sure, but the kitchen was constantly busy and on occasion a waitress carrying a heavy tray made her way across a corner of the dance floor. It was why I had chosen to sit in such a secluded corner.

Unfortunately, Genma knew my tricks, and soon enough I found myself surrounded by my team and their significant others. Harumi, a Chūnin medic nowhere near as talented as Sakura, but much easier to get along with, sits on my left side, her black bobbed hair brushing my cheek as she leans over me to steal my drink from my right hand. "Hatake," she scolds softly, her voice low. "We've been over this. No drinking before we get here." She takes a drink from the bottle, and then passes it back to me.

I nod to her boyfriend whose name I can never remember, but he's staring across the table at Genma's wife, who looks just as nervous as I know he must be. They're probably the only two civilians in here tonight, not that it matters, everyone is the same with a little alcohol in them. Genma squeezes my leg under the table, winking at me cockily as he takes a drink of his own beer, then wrapping the hand with the bottle in it lazily around his wife. "Hey honey," he teases. "What's a pretty thing like you doing sitting over here all alone?"

"Waiting for you to come into my life," I reply easily, shooing his hand off my thigh.

"Hey, Kakashi," Shikamaru mutters from the other side of Genma and his wife. "Kurenai and I think you need to find yourself a woman."

"Or a man," Kurenai says with a smirk from the other side of Harumi's boyfriend.

"Either would do," I say with a shrug. "Neither will happen any time soon. I've pissed off too many people in this village and they've all warned their friends."

"What about Anko?" Harumi asks, smiling broadly.

"Oh Kami, don't even joke about that," Genma says with a shiver. I shiver too, remembering a time a few years ago when we had made out on a mission. Hell no. "No man, you need someone younger, sweet, innocent, naïve. Someone who thinks they can change you into what they want."

"Because that worked out so nicely for you?" I ask, knowing about the past of the woman on his lap better than anyone else at the table. I mean no insult to Fumi, and she knows it. I've known this woman as long as Genma has, and she can take a little joke at her expense. She's been known to make them at mine.

"No, because it would work for you," he protests. "You need that drama in your life. Plus you can have a cool conversation about porn that leads to acting out scenes."

I nod at that, allowing my mind to wander. "Shit, you're right."

Harumi is about to speak when she freezes, looking out the window. Shikamaru and Kurenai are gone in a minute and Genma scoots himself and his wife out of the booth. "What's wrong?" she whispers as the bar begins to empty.

"They've spotted the Uchiha," he mutters, kissing her gently, before nodding to the medic on the team, who was already rounding up civilians. "Harumi will take you home, all right?" She nods and I watch as Harumi finds all the civilians in the club, telling them she'll escort them home. I was wrong… there were five civilians here tonight. "Kakashi?" Genma asks, drawing me into action.

"I'm going to check on Sakura," I say, feeling my stomach plummet at the thought of Sasuke being anywhere near her. Genma nods and I slip out the window, feeling several Jōnin rush against me as I get further away from the Hokage tower. I hardly even notice the rain pouring down from the sky, soaking my hair and getting in my good eye. I kick open the front door when I get to the house she shares with her mother, running upstairs quickly. My skin prickles as I feel the remnants of his chakra in her room. He's long gone, but he had been here. "Saku-" my voice is cut off as I open the door to her bed room and a tear leaps from my eyes so quickly I didn't even feel them form.

I step into the room and close the door behind me, knowing this isn't something her mother needs to see. I look away from the bed for only a moment, choking down the panic that rises within me, before turning back, assessing the situation. Her pink sheets have traces of blood on them, though most of it pools under her hips, and her pajamas are mostly torn away, revealing everything that this sixteen year old _child_ should keep hidden. I keep my eyes away from any part of her that isn't injured, instead focusing on the cuts and bruises and her eyes, wide open in an obvious Genjutsu cast by the Uchiha boy. I hear her mother down the hall, climbing out of bed and preparing to come down the hall.

I quickly step forward, wrapping the bloody sheet around the girl and taking her into my arms. I step out into the hallway and hear her mother gasp at the end of the hall. "I'm taking her to Tsunade," I say evenly, "I'll tell you all I know at the hospital." I wait for her to nod, and then hurry out the window and onto the rooftops. "I'm so sorry, Sakura," I whisper to her, not even realizing I'm talking. "Sakura when I get you to Tsunade, once I know you're safe, I swear to Kami I won't rest until that boy is dead." A quick glance down at the girl in my arms tells me all I need to know. "I'll protect you Sakura, I'll never let him, or anyone else hurt you again. I'll destroy anyone who tries, do you hear me?" I hope so.

I stumble as I leap onto the Hokage Tower's roof, but easily regain my footing, slipping into the window of her office. Tsunade doesn't look surprised to see me, simply steps forward and checks for a pulse. "For Kami's sake, Kakashi. You couldn't have gotten there just an hour earlier? Give her to me." She takes the girl from my arms and easily heads towards her office doors. "When we've finished healing her and have woken her up we'll let you in to see her."

I nod and feel a little part of my heart break as Sakura is taken from my arms and carried off in those of her new Sensei. It seems like hours in her office before Tsunade finally comes through the door, shoulders slumped and eyes on the floor. "You can go see her," she mutters, giving me a room number.

I hurry off before she can say anything else and for the first time I can remember, I walk into a hospital of my own free will. When I get to her room I'm not surprised to find Ino sitting beside her bed, holding her hand and biting back tears.

"Yamanaka," I say softly. She looks up in shock and quickly stands. "How is she?"

She sighs and shakes her head. "She'll live…" I nod in understanding, stepping further into the room. "Do you want to sit with her for a while? I have to check on some of my other patients."

"Of course," I whisper.

"Thank you," she says evenly. "I'll be back in a few hours. You can press the call button if you need anything."

I nod and Ino leaves the room quickly, leaving me alone with the unconscious girl. I take it as a good thing that her eyes are closed this time, and her breathing deep and heavy. I step forward hesitantly and sit beside the bed, staring at her, a feeling of regret burning in the pit of my stomach.

* * *

September 30th, Year 3

I try so hard to keep my breathing even, to keep my pulse steady, my mind clear as I come closer and closer the woman I had yet again, failed to protect, hot on the heels of my hounds. I'm not very successful.

Pictures of that girl, blood streaming down her thighs, hickeys and bruises forming on her chest and neck, her hair a tangled mess, keep flickering into my mind, like a lighter that's flame just won't keep. With every memory my heart skips a beat, hoping I won't find her like that again… hoping I'll never have to find her like that again. And thus my breaths are short and shallow, drying out my lips and throat. I can taste blood, probably from running so long… days straight… stopping for nothing.

Kami, please let her be safe.

"Pakkun!" I yell ahead, voice hoarse.

"Almost there, boss," he replies, sounding as if the only thing keeping him going is muscle memory. He will deserve a long vacation after this.

I trust in my old friend and steady my thoughts. If she's being held underground, as Pakkun has told me, then I'll need to find a way in. I could locate her chakra and blast through somewhere near her… although if she's too far underground I won't be able to get that far. I could take out one of the guards and transform into him… but I'd have to wait for one to step away from the group. I see Pakkun stop a head and point to a rock formation in the hill side… obviously manipulated by man to hide something. I could try to sneak in, slip past the guards, crawl along the ceiling. My feet don't even pause on the branch as I leap to the ground and run towards the entrance. Or I could just use the front door, and barrel my way in, killing everything that gets in my path.

I feel a neck snap under my hands, and a kunai slits the other guard's throat. I throw another man into the wall, knocking him unconscious, and run down the long tunnel, breaking open the door at the end of it and suddenly finding myself in an old holding facility for prisoners. Anbu would've used this kind of place for holding and 'questioning' their enemies. I'd been a prisoner and an interrogator in hundreds like it before. I don't have to ask for directions… her scent is thick in the air. I round a corner to find a young boy sitting in a chair by the room Sakura is undoubtedly held in.

His eyes go wide as he spots me and as my hand tightens on the kunai in my hand he drops to his knees, head bowed. He raises his hands, probably about the size on my palms alone, and I can smell the tears forming in his eyes. I lower my blade and bark out a quick order, "Get out," he doesn't have to be told twice.

The boy is only a few feet down the hallway when I break down the door, heart clenching at the two naked bodies in the bed before me, the man's face is turning purple, as Sakura wraps the chains around his neck, her eyes dark and lips set in a grimace. I hardly notice my feet carry me to the bed, or my hands pull him away from her, or how I burry the three kunai into him so deep that they pin him to the wall, feet a good five inches above the ground.

And then she's in my arms, safe at last. I break the chains around her wrists and pull her from the bed, holding back tears as I feel her blood cover my hands. I lean down and take a gasping breath, kissing the top of her head and closing my eyes against the tears that threaten to spill over. For a brief moment I hold her, reeling in the fact that I've gotten to her, that she's no longer in danger, and then pick her up and leave the room without looking back.

* * *

October 10th, Year 3

I smile as the girl in my arms blushes, turning down her head to let her rose hair cover her eyes. "Hey," I complain softly. "Don't hide it from me… I worked so hard to get it there."

She swats playfully at my arm, leaving a slight sting that would've made other men cry out in pain. I don't even blink, and so I am rewarded by the lovely sight of her flushed cheeks and glistening eyes as she looks back up at me. "You're evil," she whispers.

"No more so than anyone else," I say with a shrug, pulling her up against me even tighter with one arm and I snake my other arm out of our embrace to gently brush her hair behind her ear. "At least I don't kill harmless little plants."

"I told you that was an accident!" She starts, trying to pull away.

"Sakura," I laugh, pulling her back into my arms. "Sakura, I'm only teasing, it's fine… really." She doesn't look reassured. "Hey," I pull her chin up, kissing the very side of her lips gently as she tries to turn away. "If you had told me it was you or the plant… I would've killed it myself." She lets me kiss her properly then, wrapping her arms around my neck. I smile, trailing my hand down her back and taking in all of her curves. In a moment we're on the slightly dewy grass, her legs hitched up over my hips as I shower her with kisses. She giggles (my heart skipping a beat or two at the sound) and moves her head to the side, so I turn my attention to her neck.

"Ka- Kakashi," she gasps, voice so light I hardly hear it.

"Mm?" I ask, slightly distracted.

"Sensei…" she whispers.

I pull away then, looking down at her. This wasn't the type of situation in which she used that term. As my eye focuses on her I feel terror grip at my heart like my blood had turned to ice. "Sak- Sakura!" I gasp, breath short. I hold her face in my hands, trying to stop this as her eyes widen in fear, and blood trickles from her nose and mouth. Her breaths no longer reach her lungs, leaving her body to convulse under me slightly. "Sakura!" I yell, unsure of what to do. My brain kicks in and I move away slightly, wondering if CPR would do any good in a situation like this. As I am thinking about it I see her eyes relax and my heart freezes in my chest, a small breath leaves her lips, and then I feel her heart stop under my hands. I can't move, I'm paralyzed, my eyes won't even look away from her. "No," I whisper. "No, not yet, you can't…" I trail off, feeling my icy heart begin to chip and break away, turning to shards of ice inside me. My vision begins to dim and I throw my head back, ready to let this pain take me into what can only be death.

And then I am staring at the off-white ceiling of Sakura's childhood bed room. I turn my head to the side and sigh at the image of Sakura's face. She had a few scratches that I could see in the early morning light, but she was alive. Watching me with subdued concern. "Bad dream?" she whispers, her voice light so as not to wake her mother sleeping down the hall.

"Was I loud?" I ask, feeling guiltier than I've felt since I was a teenager, sneaking into young girls' bedrooms for a much different reason. I glance at the door. Her mother didn't mind me being here anymore, but she would've hated to know I had stayed the night… in her daughter's bed.

"I was able to quiet you down," she says, her voice filled with such… pain, compared to that of the girl in my dream. "You were thrashing around a bit, though. I was afraid you were going to break something." I glance over her then, how she sits with her side facing me, staring straight ahead.

"Did I…" I scowl. "Did I break something?"

She's silent for a long moment before she shrugs. "I already healed it."

"Kami," I say quietly, anger burning inside of me. I pull myself from her bed, shedding the sheets that stick to my sweat-covered skin. "Shit, Sakura, I shouldn't be here. I'm fucking hurting you! Why didn't you-"

"What?" She asks quietly, staring at her feet. "Wake you? Stop you?" she turns to look at me, exposing the yellow bruise, still fading on her cheek from that monster. "It's not a big deal, Kakashi. I'm a tough girl. I can handle a sleep punch from an old man."

Her tone says she's teasing, but I know the words are pieced together carefully, to sound lighter than they are. "I know you are Sakura. Kami, anyone who knows what I do would know that. You go through all that… and I'm the one waking up from nightmares. What about yours?" I scoff. "How do you not have nightmares when I do?"

"I don't sleep." I look at her in shock. I shouldn't be surprised. Who in their right mind would want to relive all the shit that's gone on in her life recently? "Not when you're not here anyways."

I frown at that. "What-"

She shakes her head. "Mom's up. You should go before she catches you in my bed."

I sigh in frustration, but leave through the window, kissing her softly on the cheek before I go.

It's getting harder to spend time with her theses days. She's still dragging Jiro along, not caring enough to cut him loose, and when she's not pretending to be ok with him, she's out pretending nothing happened with Naruto. If they're not handy she's having a pity party with Ino, or some of her other friends. Tsunade hasn't had her come back into work yet, but I know Sakura's there every other day claiming she's ready for it.

After I've stopped by my place to shower and change I head back out, stopping by Tsunade's office. She's not busy, not by choice… Shizune works when she's nervous or troubled… and so most of Tsunade's work is already complete. "Kakashi," she mutters as I poke my head through the door. "Come in." I walk past her desk, staring out the window as we stand side by side. "How is she?" I don't say anything. "When you saw her this morning, I mean?" I sigh, shaking my head. "You can't keep this a secret. I've got a nose for scandal."

"We're not having sex," I say, honestly too. I've only held her and shared a few chaste kisses since our return. "I just don't want her to be alone right now."

"I understand. I don't want her to either." I glance at her, a little shocked, but her face gives me nothing. "All I want to know," she continues, "Is how she's doing."

"There are a dozen other people who see her far more often than I do," I say softly, hoping I don't sound too much like I'm complaining.

"Yes, but no one can tell me quite as well as you can. You know her Kakashi, the real her. Not the version of her that she allows Ino, and Naruto, and even myself to see," she sighs, staring towards Sakura's house. "That little girl we trained turned into a woman… a ninja… and a very secretive one. I'm afraid you were the only one who wasn't too busy to notice."

I almost blush at the hidden connotations behind her words. "She's coping, I think" I reply softly. "She's… distancing herself from me… I guess I deserve it, but-"

"Don't give up on her, Kakashi," she cuts in. I look at her, scowling. "She'll come back to you… she'll need you again. Just… don't give up on her."

We're both silent for a moment before I sigh, shaking my head. "I had no intention of doing so."

She nods and then paces quietly to her desk. "You team has a mission," I'm about to protest, she'd agreed to keep me in the village, training and running errands since I brought Sakura back, but she cuts me off. "Over night at most. You can leave whenever you see fit." I hesitate in taking the scroll from her and she sighs, giving me a look that plainly states she's sick of me wasting her resources. "I'll have Ino and Hinata take her out for the night, maybe Tenten too. She won't be alone."

I sigh and take the scroll from her. "If anything goes wrong-"

"You finally won't be the one to blame."

I scowl, "that was low."

She sighs and goes back to the desk. "Yeah, sorry, you're right… I apologize. I'm just… looking for someone to blame, I suppose." I nod and she dismisses me. I can feel her eyes on my back as I leave, gaze filled with pity. It makes me a little sick.

I quickly find Genma, out with his wife, sitting on a park bench, watching their little boy play in the sand pit. When Kazuo sees me he quickly forgets his pitiful sand castle, getting up on shaky legs to come fall against my shins. "Hey kiddo," I say, scooping him up easily. He calls out to his parents, who are watching me uneasily. The team captain showing up didn't usually mean anything good to a family like this. "You're getting big!" I complain, pretending as if it's too difficult to hold him.

He giggles, turning to his mother and reaching out with both hands. "Mamma!"

I pass the wiggling boy over to Fumi easily, moving my head out of the way as he tries to clip me with his heel. "Good to see you, Kakashi," she says softly, her voice gentle as the boy cuddles against her breast, fitting in her arms comfortably. "How are you?"

"I've been better," I say with a shrug. "My former student is giving me grief."

"The hero or the villain?" Genma asks, smirking.

"To be fair, I started off with the worst emotionally distraught ones in that year," I defend, shoving my hands in my pockets, "and neither."

"Ah, the cute one," he says, nodding.

Fumi rolls her eyes and turns away. "Your son doesn't need to hear this."

"Baby," he argues as she walks away. "Cute. Cute! It applies to children and puppies!" She just shakes her head in response. "I'm sorry!" he yells after her, waiting a moment more and then turning to me. "Ok, so the hot one. What's she up to?"

I shake my head, "won't let me in anymore… I think this last mission really took it's-"

"This last mission?" he asks. "I heard rumors… things went south. Was it that bad? I thought that girl could handle anything."

"She can," I say with a nod, "unfortunately she had to prove it this time around."

Genma steps back, all joking aside. "Ah man… no." I nod. "Shit… she was my favorite field medic… I always request her when I come in beat up from missions." He shakes his head as we both look over at his wife. "Maybe… maybe she'll be ok… I mean… lots of women…"

"She can handle anything," I say, shaking my head. "Listen, we've got a mission. I still need to round up Shikamaru and Harumi, but we'll probably head out tonight. What time does Kazuo go to bed?"

"Eight at the latest," he says, still staring at his little family.

"We'll head out at nine then," I say, "should be back by noon tomorrow. Meet you at the gates?"

"Yeah…" he muses.

"Genma?" he turns to look at me. "Don't say anything, alright?" He nods, turning away again.

I take off in the direction of Kurenai's home. Shikamaru didn't technically live there, but her daughter would be at school, so chances are… that's where he is. When I get there I catch Shikamaru's eye by chance through the kitchen window. He nods and meets me out on the stairs, offering me a slice of the apple he was munching on, I refuse it gently.

"What's up?" he asks, sitting down on the top step so our eyes are level.

"Mission," I say, handing him the scroll as he pops another piece of the apple in his mouth. He reads it in half a second, then taps his wrist, not wanting to talk with food in his mouth. "Nine, at the gates." I say, shrugging. "Should be back by noon tomorrow."

He chews for a moment, thoughtful, and then swallows. "And Sakura? You're gonna leave her?" I don't say anything, so he pivots his body, putting his feet up and staring at the sky above us. "It doesn't take a genius, Kakashi. Kurenai and I have known for years what you two have."

"Perhaps because it's so similar to what you two have," I say quietly.

"She was never my teacher," he argues lightly. "This last mission changed things for you two… what with what happened to her…"

"Of course you've figured it out," I sigh. "Nine, the gates, give Kurenai my love."

He nods and watches as I walk away, off to find Harumi. I'm fretting seeing her, actually. She'll be upset that I haven't seen her in so long… and all hormone-plagued what with the baby. She wasn't even in the second trimester yet, but it made me uneasy keeping the secret from Tsunade. She would pull Harumi from the team the minute she found out… but Harumi had traded giving me the knowledge for me keeping it from Tsunade and I wasn't about to go back on my word. She was a good ninja, and a better medic, and I wanted to have her back if she decided to come back after her baby is born… if Sakura hasn't already replaced her.

She and her boyfriend are out in the garden behind her house when I get there, covered in dirt up to their elbows. The minute I step onto the property Harumi is in my arms, legs wrapped around my waist and arms wrapped around my neck. "Damn it Kakashi, I thought you'd abandoned me!" she cries, showering me with little kisses. "I thought you decided I was useless and didn't want me around and then…" She pouts.

"Wow," I say, walking awkwardly over to her boyfriend. "And here I was expecting some big reaction."

She scoffs, unwrapping herself. "I'm not some child, I can control my feelings."

"What about your chakra?" I ask, glancing at her still flat stomach.

"Better than ever," she brags, a sparkle in her eye. "Mission?" I nod. "Awesome, I'll go get my bag."

"Nine," I say evenly. "We're leaving at nine."

She squeals and kisses me on the cheek, making me have to wipe away a bit of saliva. "Thank you, Hatake! I promise I won't let you down!"

I flinch. Now why would she go and promise something like that? I say my goodbyes and head back to Sakura's place. It's been mostly empty for the last week and a half, since Sakura has stayed with myself or her mother on most nights. Even Jiro once or twice. As expected it still stands empty today, but judging by the lack of dust on the table that had been dusty yesterday and the faint smell of her… she'd been here earlier. I follow her trail, smelling tears on her bed, and a little bit of blood in her shower… perhaps from her old wounds opening up… or she cut her self shaving. Nothing too worrisome. I look at the closet, noticing a few empty hangers, and I pause at the picture of team Kakashi. Yesterday it had been standing at the head of her bed. Today it was lying broken on the floor. I hope for a moment that perhaps she is upset with Sai or Naruto, or that it was an accident… but I'm too pessimistic for my own good.

I sigh and leave her house, starting towards her mother's house. She certainly wouldn't be at mine. I wonder distantly if Genma's right, if this is something someone as strong as Sakura can bounce back from, if she'll be able to move on. She certainly made a good show of doing so after Sasuke hurt her, and she had far more emotional ties to that experience… but that had only been one night, an hour at the most. I shake my head as I walk, shoving my hands in my pockets and hardly taking in my surroundings at all.

Until someone calls my name. I look up to see Ino waving at me from a table outside a small tea shop. She is sitting with several kunoichi her age, I recognize Hinata and Tenten. There are a few I don't recognize as well, or that I've simply seen around the village. One of them I know works with Sakura and Ino in the hospital. Then sitting directly across from Ino, with her back straight and shoulders squared, is the girl I dream about, sophisticatedly ignoring me. I waved lightly and head over. "Hello Ino, girls." I nod to them as I put my arms on the railing behind Sakura, leaning over it so I'm nearly touching her pink hair. If a light breeze were to stir it up it would brush across my cheek.

"Kakashi," Ino says, smiling. That girl is a horrible actress. She usually calls me 'sensei' and people like Sakura and Shikamaru will notice the shift. Sakura knows why… Shikamaru will probably guess and if he were the gossiping type the whole village would think I've been sleeping with Hinata and probably Tenten as well. Ah hell. "I don't suppose you know anything about Sakura's new boy?"

I raise my eyebrows in wonder. "Jiro?" I ask. "He's not new… but he's the only one I know about."

Ino laughs, a sound as light as bells, as fake as silicone. "No, no, silly. She's cheating on him, don't you know? I'm sure you've seen him around."

I shake my head. "Haven't a clue," I say easily.

Ino pouts. "Oh well, sorry for bothering you."

"Actually," I say easily, "I was looking for Sakura," I look down to the top of her head, resisting the urge to ruffle her hair as I used to when she was a Genin. "Could I borrow you for a minute?" Sakura doesn't respond at first, just sighing and twisting around slightly to look up at me. She doesn't say anything, but her eyes quite plainly state she doesn't want to talk to me, begging me to leave. "Or I could come by later?"

She gets up easily, excusing herself and going to the gate, walking next to me without a word. When we round the corner I start talking. "I'm going on a mission tonight," I say evenly. "Won't be back until tomorrow morning."

"That seems pretty routine," she says coldly.

"I just wanted to be sure you'd be OK tonight," I explain.

"So much so that you asked Ino to check up on me?" She spits.

"No!" I argue, and then step back. "… I asked Tsunade." She glares at me for a moment before she turns on her heel and walks away, hands balled into fists. "I'll let you hit me!" I call after her, running to catch up. "Come on Sakura, I'm just worried about you… we all are."

"Well you all just need to back off!" She rants, reaching the corner, about to come into view so her friends will be able to see her.

Without thought I reach out and grab her wrist, pulling her back to me. It feels nice to hold her in my arms for that short moment, she'll hit me in a minute or two; I'm sure. But then she shudders slightly, and her arms wrap around my waist. I feel her hands grasp desperately at the fabric of my Jonin jacket and her body trembles as she starts to quietly cry. I don't say anything, I don't want to say it wrong, and instead brush my fingers through her hair gently, resting my lips against the top of her head as people pass us by. One or two glances linger, but no one really pays much attention to us. Hopefully no one we know will pass, but at the moment I couldn't care less about the consequences, as long as I get to continue holding her.

"I don't want to be pitied," she says, her voice sounding stronger than her posture indicates she is. "That's all they do… my mom, Ino, Lady Tsunade. Even Jiro. Just… just don't pity me."

"I don't pity you, Sakura…" I stop from continuing how I would wish. I can't say those words, it wouldn't be fair to her. Instead I search for another declaration. "I admire you, Sakura. You astonish me… your strength amazes me to no end. I certainly don't pity you. But I do worry about you."

"Don't," she whispers. "Just… just do what you've always done."

"Make terrible choices?" I ask with a dry laugh. "Take you home, throw you in my bed?"

"Please," she whispers. I pull away, surprised, she's looking up at me with pleading eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. "Jiro won't touch me… I feel… dirty… like he thinks I am."

"You're not," I promise her. "He doesn't think you are. He's just being careful with you." I can't believe I'm helping this stupid boy. "I promise you, Sakura… no one thinks anything worse of you for what happened."

"You do." My heart stops. How could she possibly think that? "You trained a sub-par ninja. You're disappointed in me."

My head rolls back as I look at the sky above me. "How can you be so stupid, Sakura?" I ask with a sigh. "NOW, I'm disappointed in you." I take her hand and pull her into a nook off the side of the street, effectively hiding us from the foot traffic. "Look at me," I demand, pulling down my mask and pushing my head band out of the way. "Look at me," I say again, pulling her chin up and waiting until her emerald eyes meet my mismatched ones. "I'm going to say something now that I should have said a long time ago. Ok?" she just stares at me. "You are the only student I've ever taught that hasn't disappointed me." She glances away, blushing; I pull her back to look at me again. "I'm serious, Sakura, you're the only one that's made me sufficiently proud. You are my favorite student, and not just because of that thing you do with your tongue during blow jobs," she rolls her eyes turning away, forcing my hand away from her chin. "Naruto didn't learn anything from me," I say evenly. "He either already knew it or learned it from one of you. Sa-" I flinch. "The other one disappointed me in every way possible. Took what I taught him and used it to hurt the ones I care for." She bites her lip. "Sakura," she looks back to me slowly, staring at my chin, avoiding my gaze. "You're my favorite… and I am so proud of what you've done, and who you're becoming. I feel lucky just to know you."

She looks up at me then and my heart stops as her lips twitch slightly, and a small smile, a real smile, crosses her face. It disappears quickly, but I feel like I'm glowing just having seen it. She reaches up then and presses her lips to mine in a motion filled with gratitude and warmth. "Thank you, Kakashi," she says, kissing me again and then pulling away, but trailing her fingers over my jacket. "Be safe tonight, ok? Come home to me safely, and then… things can change, ok?" She bites her lip and nods. "I swear things will change, no more Jiro… no more… fucking around. Just you, ok?"

I can't help but smile and I see how her eyes dart to my lips. I can hear her heart skip a beat. "Then I have to come home, don't I?"

She nods, kisses me once more, and then heads back to her friends without another word. I pull up my mask and readjust my headband, and then shove my hands in my pockets and head back out to the streets, smiling slightly.

* * *

February 7th, Year 4

I shiver slightly and look towards the house, trying to catch a glimpse of Sakura through the curtains. There was a small space in the black-out curtains Sakura had pulled tight across Genma's bedroom window, and every so often I could see a shadow pass over it, but even with my Sharingan I couldn't make out who it was. Probably Sakura, Fumi shouldn't be moving around at the moment. "Hey," Genma calls from the other side of the walk, leaning on his snow shovel. I try not to look guilty as I make eye contact with him. "Sakura will help her, right?"

The guilt is thrown on me like this late in the year snow storm. Why the hell am I thinking about Sakura when the woman she's inside working on is in such danger? Genma's a wreck, no doubt, his wife and unborn daughter are in danger, but even he's out here clearing the walk of snow and ice so she won't fall again. Shikamaru answers when I don't. "That girl could bring them both back from the dead, Genma. You have nothing to worry about."

I nod in agreement. "She's better than Tsunade in this respect, trust me." I'd been on missions with her where she'd often been put in charge of the children. She was a good clear head who could do what was needed at the smallest loss for the children. Some people called it cold… I called it brilliant. She could take as good care of a ten year old as she could a ten day old and she used the exact same methods; and it… usually worked. I have no doubt she knows a fair deal about pregnancies as well.

Genma bites his lip, not looking convinced. We all go back to work, Shikamaru and Genma shoveling the snow out of the way as I melt all the ice that remains on the path beneath it. It takes a long time for us to finish the simple task, probably because no one wants to go back inside, but when we do it's nearly noon. We leave as much of our clothing as we can to dry in the front room before drying off with towels Fumi had left there throughout the winter for when her son and husband came inside tracking snow and mud. There are no signs that upstairs that very woman is fighting to keep her unborn child alive after slipping on the snow this morning. It would be too early to deliver the baby, and Sakura was pretty certain she could get things running smoothly again, so she had a fairly good chance of seeing her baby come into this world healthy.

Or so we kept telling ourselves.

Genma prepares some tea for us and without a word we sit around the table, waiting for any hint from upstairs about what is going on. I watch Genma's fingers drum on the table top, and then the next moment he's pacing the room, fingers fitting a senbon between his teeth. He stops and looks up the stairs, but then shakes his head and returns to us to drum his fingers on the table top. "She'll be alright, Genma." I promise, making him pause. "They both will. Sakura will fix this, you know how good she is… she's patched you up enough times."

"But this…" he shakes his head. "This is a baby… this is… my baby." I watch as his eyes moisten a little, my heart aching for him.

Just then the door at the end of the hall opens and we listen as Sakura makes her way to the bath room, washes her hands, and then heads downstairs. Genma stares at her for a long while, eyes wide. "I want her to stay in bed as much as possible," Sakura says evenly. "I'll be back once or twice a week to check up on them," I feel Genma relax at that. "She's not to lift a finger around here."

"She'll be ok?" Genma asks, grabbing Sakura's arm.

Sakura smiles, the action holding a little more warmth than it usually does. "Fumi and the baby will be fine. Let her rest for now, but you and Kazuo should go see her later, keep her company." Before Sakura has even finished speaking he wraps his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you, Sakura," he gasps, laughing. "Oh Kami, thank you so much. I owe you everything."

Sakura laughs and pulls away. "You're very welcome," she says with a smile. "Fumi's doing most of the work now though." He nods and turns to us, grinning.

I laugh a little and rub the back of my neck, "You're a miracle worker, Sakura," I say, feeling the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. How horrible would it have been if things had turned out worse and I had been so busy thinking about Sakura that I couldn't even support my friend properly?

"Tea?" Shikamaru asks, already pouring her a new cup.

We all sit down around the table again, this time the mood much lighter and Shikamaru tells us about the last cutest thing Kurenai's daughter did. Genma parries with stories of Kazuo's recent obsession with puppies, which makes me smile. Not even two and already my habit of bringing a dog with me whenever I see him is already working. Genma catches my smile and rightfully accuses me of brainwashing his child. I simply shrug, cursing the fact that my mask hadn't hidden that one. I was too used to being able to show emotion in my face since most of it is hidden. Sakura catches my eye and I feel Shikamaru watch as my heart melts. Damn that girl.

"Jiro proposed," Sakura says suddenly, breaking her gaze away from mine.

The room is silent for a moment as my team mates turns to me. Oh hell, are we that obvious? Genma is the first to speak up. "Congratu-"

"I said no," she says quickly. A collective sigh fills the room. I guess we are. "Things with him are over." I can't help the smile that sneaks onto my face.

"Well it's about time," Shikamaru says with a sigh. "We all knew you were fizzling."

"Besides," Sakura says with a shrug. "I'm a kunoichi… I can't exactly be a good wife too."

Genma frowns, glancing at me before he speaks. "It's not an either-or existence, Sakura," he shakes his head when she opens her mouth to argue. "If you wanted to get married, have kids… you could. You should. You're talent would be a great addition to the next generation of leaf shinobi."

Sakura takes a breath, obviously feeling a little trapped. "I haven't found the right man," she jokes.

He's right here.

I bite my tongue, thinking the words so loudly that I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in here heard them bouncing around in my head. "It's not that hard," Genma says with a laugh. "Tell Tsunade you're looking."

Sakura rolls her eyes as we share a good laugh in our shared fear of our terrifying leader. She is about to reply when the front door opens, causing us all to turn as two kunoichi and two children come through the door, the kids stomping off the mud on their shoes and then tracking it through the house. I flinch as Harumi yells at them, her foul mouth making her point very well known. Kurenai just laughs, following them in a moment, much more cleaned up. I smile as Kazuo runs to his father, not having to wait more than a second to be scooped up into loving arms, and my smile fades as Shikamaru picks up Asuka in much the same fashion. It disappears completely when my eyes settle on Harumi's belly, about ready to pop. I glance away, and Sakura meets my gaze again, and then quickly glances down.

"I should be going," Sakura says with a smile, "I need to speak with Lady Tsunade, get you pulled from missions for the next few months, Genma." He looks like he's about to argue, but when his eyes settle on the stairs he nods.

"I should be going too, have a mission report to write and what not," I say, knowing it's a lame excuse.

"Mission report?" Shikamaru asks, raising an eyebrow.

I shrug and continue to the door on Sakura's heels. "Want me to walk you home?" I ask once we're in the doorway.

"Your place or mine?" she mouths almost silently as we slip on our shoes and jackets. I don't respond, just wink, pushing my mask and headband back into place.

She grins and nods, pausing just long enough for me to open the front door for her. She smiles sweetly, stepping out onto the freshly shoveled porch and waits for me to close it behind us. I can feel the gaze of my team through the windows as Sakura and I walk as close as we can to each other, both of us with our hands stuffed in our pockets. At the end of the walk we turn to face each other, smile, and then set off in opposite directions. She still has to stop by Tsunade's office, and I want to get all of Sakura's clothes out of the dryer, I swear she hasn't stopped doing laundry since she moved in nearly two months ago. It's like she can't get anything clean enough.

I move slowly on the way home, stopping by the market to get some stuff for dinner, and picking up some flowers from Ino's shop. She looks up to greet me with a bright smile when I come in, which disappears once she recognizes me. "Oh, it's you." I nod, waving and browsing slowly around. I pause at the Lilies, smiling. "Only get that if you're going to a funeral," Ino says from behind the counter. "No girl wants Lilies…"

"This one might," I say evenly. It's not my imagination… she perks up at that, as if mentally running through the list of women she's seen me with. "Besides, they smell good."

Ino shakes her head, "you know nothing about girls, Kakashi," she laughs.

"Nope," I agree, meeting her eye. I smile and turn back to the flowers. I know far more about girls than her boyfriend does. That might be an insult though. "These ones I think," I say, picking out some white ones, and bringing them over to the counter.

She raises an eyebrow, but wraps the stems up nicely anyways, "your funeral," she says evenly, handing the bouquet to me. We both make sure not to touch the other one. "Maybe they are appropriate."

"It's a lot harder to pretend when there's no one else around, isn't it?" I say, not able to move yet.

"You have experience in that field?" She asks, but her heart isn't in the gentle teasing. "Is it cheating?" I frown. "I… don't want to have cheated on Shino… I need to know… does it count?"

"Did you tell him?" I ask after a moment of thought.

"I- I didn't think I could," she says, sounding shocked.

"If you… if you feel you need to… then I think you should," I shake my head, "maybe not. I don't know Shino that well. It might hurt him more than it will help you."

"What about your mystery girl?" She asks quietly. "Does she know?"

I glance out the window, wondering how I can tell the truth but not mislead her. "It's a difficult situation. I'm still trying to get her. Convince her she wants me." Ino opens her eyes a little wider. Perhaps she doesn't believe anyone wouldn't want me. Well. I smile a bit. "But yes, when I told her about the mission she convinced me to… do whatever I needed to."

"We didn't need to do… what we did," she says softly.

"No," I agree, "but in all honesty I think she's already forgotten about it. She might be even colder than Shino."

"Shino isn't cold," Ino whispers, looking down at the counter.

I smile, "No… I doubt he could be to you," she shrugs at the compliment, thanking me and turning to the register. I pay for the flowers and leave quickly, making my way home. Sakura will beat me there at this point. I smile at her shoes kicked off haphazardly by the front door, pushing them to lay side by side as I take off my own shoes. "Hey babe," I call towards the bedroom, draping my jacket over the back of a chair and pulling down my mask. I never found it suffocating before Sakura, now I can't seem to find enough reasons to take it off. If she answers I don't hear it. I find a vase for the flowers and put away the groceries. I have to buy so much more food now, it's strange.

I hear her come into the kitchen, footsteps as soft as her skin, while I'm pushing around things in the fridge to make room around the different types of berries Sakura likes to keep around. Her hands cover my eyes and I smile at the feel of her bare chest against my back. "Hey hun," she responds. "Did someone die?" I smile and start to turn around, shaking my head. Her eyes narrow suspiciously. "Did you… buy me Lilies?"

I smile, leaning down to kiss her, trailing my hands over her bare arms. "They smelled sweet…" I mutter, kissing her neck gently. "Like you."

"Flowers of death?" She asks, sighing.

"Well… we seem to see it often enough," I mutter against her skin, trailing my hand over the soft skin of her back, and down lower. "Yeah?"

She sighs, and then shrugs. "I suppose."

I grin, pulling her legs up in an easy motion and laying her back onto the kitchen table. She pulls my shirt off easily, trailing her fingers down to my pants. "Hasty," I scold playfully.

"Can't keep up?" She teases, leaning up to capture my lips.

I catch her bottom lip for a few moments as she pulls away, leaning back onto the table and grabbing the far edge. I smile, pulling her hips against mine. I pause, unable to continue before knowing… with all she's been through… "You good?" I ask seriously.

She nods; a soft smile on her lips. "Yes."

Ah, the kitchen table. Since she moved in we'd found it to be our favorite spot. I think it had something to do with when she was held captive. She won't tell me everything… she won't tell me much, actually, but sometimes it's clear that to her the couch, the table, the shower, and the floor are for sex… while the bed is for sleeping, or crying. At least she doesn't hide her nightmares from me anymore, instead wakes me up and makes me hold her until she falls back asleep. Not that I mind… I'd rather be up all night comforting her than sleeping in my bed alone.

I watch with glazed eyes as Sakura arches in pleasure, her knuckles turning white as they grip the edge of the table. Kami… this woman. It's not long before I lose myself in her, feeling her clench around me. Her heart beat echoes in my ear as her deep breaths stir my hair. I take a few deep breaths of my own, breathing in the scent of out sweat and proof of our love-making. With a groan I pull myself to my feet again, pulling out of her slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers. I bite my lip, keeping back the words I want to say… knowing they'll only scare her away. "Bed?" I ask. She nods, holding her arms out to me.

I smile and pick her up, using what remains of my strength to carry her down the hall to my bedroom, where I tuck us in lazily. A glance out the window tells me it's not even sunset yet, but we've had a long day. Sakura saved my near niece and sister-in-law, according to Genma's statement of family. I incident proofed the house and surrounding neighborhood. No way was that woman getting hurt again in any random accident. Someone would really have to be out to get her. "We didn't eat…" Sakura mutters.

"You hungry?" I ask, my voice hardly above a whisper. She doesn't respond. "So no more Jiro," I say after a moment.

"No," she says evenly, turning to face me. "We're done. Now I'm all yours."

"Until the next boy," I tease, kissing her shoulder.

Sakura smiles softly. "Kakashi, I…" she blushes, looking away. "I was hoping you would want to be the next boy…" I'm unable to speak; my voice is stuck in my throat, caught on my heart trying to leap out at her. "Never mind," she says quickly. "It was stupid."

I roll her over, pinning her under me and kiss her deeply. "Kami, Sakura. Give me a second to respond," I say, breathless. "Good… ah… yes. Please, dear Kami, please let me be your next boy," and hopefully the last. "I don't want to share you anymore, Sakura. Let me be you're only."

Something between a gasp and a laugh leaves her throat as she pulls me against her, holding me tight. "Thank you," she whispers, kissing me back. I laugh happily, rolling back off her, staring at the ceiling. "Of course it'll still have to be a secret." I feel like a five ton stone is pushed onto my chest with her words.

"Yeah," I manage to breathe out.

"Kakashi," she scolds, lifting herself up a bit to look at me. "We'd lose our jobs… our friends… the trust of the village. I think there's still a law in place where you lose your head."

"I'm pretty sure you'd keep your job," I mutter, pouting. She just stares at me. "So nothing has changed then."

She sighs. "I'm not sleeping with anyone else," she mutters.

"Except on missions," I reply coldly.

She's quiet for a long moment before she bites her lip and speaks so softly I can hardly hear it. "I'm not taking those missions anymore." I stare at her for a long moment, both of us silent. Because she can't… because Tsunade won't let her… or… "I don't want to be with anyone else Kakashi… I can't be with anyone else… I've..." she shrugs. "I've tried. I don't feel safe. You're the only one."

"What if…" I shake my head, knowing how unfair it is for me to ask these things. "What if someday… this isn't enough for me?"

She looks down at her hands in her lap, eyes wide open, but her voice is calm. "You think you'll want other women?"

"No," I sigh, frustrated. "I'm not being clear. What if… someday… I want to take you out… show you off… make things more official than this?" Get married… have kids. My heart beats a little faster. This girl does not want kids. I'm not being fair to her.

Her eyes show she relaxes. "Kakashi… you were my teacher… if we go public…" she shakes her head. "We can't."

"But," I cut myself off, looking at her pained face, and soften my voice. "But would you want to?" She doesn't respond, just turns to look at me, begging me to let it go. I sigh, not at all wanting to. "K," I breathe after a moment, not bothering to hide my disappointment. I lie back down and stare at the ceiling, trying to ignore the surge of jealousy I get even thinking about Genma with a son and a daughter on the way, and how Harumi will be a mother in less than a month, and hell, even Shikamaru and Kurenai had Asuka. Gai raised Lee, Naruto had a dozen little orphan kids who he took it upon himself to take care of. Sasuke… probably had hundreds of kids out there… knowing the way he went around getting them. But the girl of my dreams has no intention of ever having a baby… so I'll go without knowing the joys of fatherhood.

"Kakashi," she tries, softly. I don't respond; I'm afraid it will be in anger. "I'm sorry," she whispers, rolling over so her back is to me.

I smell her tears in the air before they ever spill past her eyes, making me sigh in defeat and reach out to her, turning her over and pulling her into my arms. "Shh, Sakura, it's all right," I mutter softly, brushing my fingers through her hair. "I swear; its fine. Alright?" she nods against my chest, but her tears don't slow. "That wasn't fair baby; forget I said anything, ok?" She just sniffles. "Just… just promise me… that you'll tell me if you ever change your mind, ok?" I ask gently, knowing this has nothing to do with some stupid law. This is commitment issues, plain and simple. The last guy she imagined marrying turned evil left her crying on the street at night, and then came back and brutally raped her. Guess it's no surprise.

If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch I'm going to make him suffer like no man ever has.

* * *

November 27th, Year 1

I roll my eyes slowly to the clock at the end of the hall. Two minutes. Kami, it felt like two hours. With a sigh I pull my head forward, bringing it back against the wall again, louder than I intended. Her mother won't be home for another hour or so, but it feels incriminating for a grown man to be sitting outside a young girl's bathroom while she pees on a stick.

I get up and pace. Kami… if she is… if that monster got her pregnant… I shake my head, balling my hands into fists at the thought of him. I pause for a minute, thinking the bathroom handle had turned, but the door doesn't open.

Kami, it has to have been two minutes by now. I'm fascinated by the fact that she asked me to get the kit for her, not Ino… or not just check herself at the hospital… then again… maybe she already had and is just double checking. I shake my head again. This little girl could not be pregnant. She was only sixteen! If it were up to her she'd still be a virgin! I growl a little in the back of my throat. Kami, she was calmer than I was. I can't help feeling like I've let everyone down here. I let one student become that monster… then went ahead and let the other be hurt by him. Hopefully Naruto wouldn't have to be punished by my screw up as well.

I sigh, putting my hands on either side of the door frame and leaning my head against the cool wood of the door. "Sakura," I say evenly, gathering my thoughts.

Just then the door opens and Sakura slips out under my arm, heading towards her bedroom. I glance quickly into the trash can in the middle of the room, where the box and test are burning down to nothing, and then I follow her hesitantly, watching her carefully. Without pause she pulls a kunai from her bag sitting on the end of her bed and bringing it to her wrist. I reach out without thought, wrapping my hand around her wrist and forcing her to drop the blade to the floor. I sit next to her and slide her easily onto my lap, knowing full well how far I'm overstepping my bounds.

She's shaking with sobs, leaning against my chest as her tears land on my jacket. I brush her tears out of the way at first, but then quickly give up, just letting her cry it out. Nearly half an hour passes as she cries, my toes start to go a little numb, but she needs someone right now… and looks like she's chosen me. After a while she sniffles a little and tries to talk. She has to clear her throat, and then try again. "I would rather be dead than have his baby," she whispers, her voice sounding so frail I can hardly believe this is the same girl who could beat me into the ground if I said something inappropriate.

"That's fine," I whisper softly. "But Tsunade will have my head if I let you kill yourself… and I believe there's another option there." Her breath comes out in a waiver. "Tsunade will surely agree," I say evenly, "no one in their right mind would think any less of you… in fact… she might order it." Sakura stops shaking for a moment and looks up at me. "Sa- ah… he is an enemy of the village… if she let his child come into this village… under these circumstances… it could potentially be a very dangerous weapon against us." She doesn't look convinced. "Not to mention… you're on your way to surpassing Tsunade in terms of medical jutsu… to lose you should the baby's chakra interrupt your own, even if only for a few months, would be detrimental to the Leaf." I swallow, knowing what I'm about to say will probably affect her more in the long run than it will at the moment, but I've heard it so often… "You're a ninja, Sakura, a damn good one… you can't be a mother as well."

She nods, and then looks back down at her lap. "Will… will you tell Lady Tsunade?" She asks weakly. "I don't think… that I can…"

"Of course," I say softly. She thanks me quietly and leans against my chest. After a while she whispers a soft apology to me, but when I ask her what she means I find she's fallen asleep. I smile sadly down at her, seeing a line on her forehead I'm pretty sure wasn't there when she was twelve. Kami, what kind of monster could do this to a child as sweet as her?

I'm jolted back to reality as the front door opens downstairs. I sigh, knowing how bad this will look, and knowing it will look worse if someone should notice me sneaking out the window. I lay her carefully down on the bed; tucking her in and leaving the door open behind me as I go out into the hallway. Her mother likes to check on her, and her door squeaks. "Mrs. Haruno," I say, just loudly enough to be heard as I come down the stairs.

She turns, a little surprised, but doesn't look near heart attack as people often do when they find me in their house. "Mr. Hatake," she says with a breath. "I didn't realize you'd be here… is Sakura-"

"She's sleeping," I say softly. "She was… having a tough time…"

I mentally flail, at a loss as to explain why I held my former student until she fell asleep in my arms. "I see," her mother says evenly, but I see that thought circling in her head. "You know the things that girl has been through…"

"I would never do anything to hurt her, Mrs. Haruno," I say softly, begging her to believe me. "That girl and Naruto are the closest thing to family I have… I swore to her when she became my student that I would protect her with my life… and I made that same promise again nearly two months ago. If there is ever a way for me to help that girl, protect that girl…"

"I understand," she says evenly, "that you feel very strongly about my daughter."

I glance to the stairs. Strongly? "I feel as any mentor should to their student. She was placed in my care four… five years ago. No one has relieved me of that duty just yet." The woman just nods, looking up the stairs. "I'm afraid I have to go speak with the Hokage, but hopefully I will see you again soon?"

"The next time Sakura has trouble sleeping?" she asks softly.

I'm quiet, unsure of how to respond. "Have a good day," I say evenly, turning and heading to the door. She doesn't call after me, but I close the door behind me as if the hounds of hell were nipping at my ankles. Kami, that woman is scary. I shake myself mentally, and perhaps slightly physically as well, and then take to the rooftops towards Tsunade's office. This is not something that can wait until I feel like going to see her… I need someone else to share this burden with.

I wait semi-patiently as her office empties of the Genin team inside, and then slip in through a window. She doesn't look shocked to see me. "Kakashi… what a pleasant-"

I go straight to her hallway, poking my head out the door. "Shizune," I say evenly, beckoning her inside. A quick chakra scan of the building shows no one is close enough to listen. "No tricks up your sleeves, Tsunade? We're alone?"

"What's this about?" She asks, scowling. When I don't reply she nods. "We're alone. No one can hear us."

I'm crouching at her desk in a moment, head as close to hers as I can get it, she leans in a bit to get closer. Shizune moves closer as well. "Sakura," I say evenly. Both women lean in closer, so their ears are mere inches from my lips. I hardly make a noise when I speak, trying to keep my voice as quiet as possible. "Is pregnant."

Both women pull away before I even finish the word, Shizune turning her back to us and covering her mouth as Tsunade lowers her head to her eyes are covered in shadow. I can feel the minutes pass, but no one moves. It must have been nearly half an hour before Tsunade's lips move in a slight tremble of words. "What does she want?"

I swallow. "It gone."'

She nods. "I can do that."

Shizune finally turns around, hand still covering her mouth. "Do you… do you think that's what she really wants?" she asks softly. I nod. "I mean… she used to love him…"

"Shizune," Tsunade warns. "This is what she wants." I swallow, probably missing something… it could be possible Tsunade found herself in a similar position once upon a time… but I'm just grasping at straws here. Neither woman gives anything away and I really don't want to pry.

"She doesn't want anyone to know," I mutter softly… breaking the slight tension between the two women.

"I agree," Tsunade says evenly, "If word should get to Uchiha… No. We keep this quiet. We know, Sakura and no one else, correct?"

"Not that I know of," I say evenly.

"Then that is all who will," Tsunade says, setting her jaw. "Prepared to be her emotional support, Kakashi?" I nod. Yes. Absolutely. Anything. I can't seem to speak. "Then bring her in late tomorrow night. After midnight. Shizune and I will do the procedure. I'll have Ino on duty in case there are any complications… and you'll wait with her until she's ready to go home. You're to keep up a Genjutsu so anyone who goes into the room will see another patient, and you're to take her home when she's ready."

"Yes," I say evenly. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Kakashi," I meet Tsunade's gaze evenly. "Sakura means the world to me. I will not have any more harm come to her. I will not have some stupid-"

"Tsunade," I cut in. "However much she means to you…" I look down, remembering for a moment how proud I was of her as a Genin. Of everything she knew how to do with just simple instruction. "She's precious to me too, Tsunade."

She meets my gaze with determination, not daring to look away. She slowly sucks her bottom lip in, holding it between her teeth in a motion that I've seen Sakura do a thousand times. "I don't want to see you or Sakura until tomorrow night. Do you understand?" I do. I really do. "You're dismissed," she says evenly.

* * *

November 28th, Year 1

I can feel the contempt radiating off the woman across the table from me. I try not to meet her eyes. It's awkward enough having to forgo my mask (a curtsey she doesn't seem to appreciate) but she also insists that I eat with them. I glance to Sakura, who is carefully avoiding my gaze, choosing to look at her mother.

"Tell me again, Kakashi," the older woman says, frowning, "why you're staying here so much lately?"

"Lady Tsunade," I say with a slight cough. "She asked me to keep an eye on her."

"Did she say you had to get here first thing in the morning?" She asks with a frown.

I glance to Sakura. Of course her mother doesn't know how I slept last night sitting in the corner of Sakura's room. We'd slept closer to each other on missions, even sharing a bed once or twice back when Sasuke was with us still, since he didn't want to sleep next to her and she didn't want to sleep next to Naruto, but this had been different. It was her own bedroom… and her mother couldn't know why I was there. "I'm evaluating her mental state," I say evenly, knowing Sakura knows it's not true. "After a… personal tragedy like this… the Hokage wants to make sure she can return to active duty. I had to be shadowed after my father died."

"Sakura wasn't shadowed when her father died," she argues.

I make eye contact with her for a long time, reminded about the circumstances of her husband's death. At the time there hadn't been a doubt in my mind that she had killed him, poisoned his dinner, but that was before Sakura was my student, I hadn't had all the facts. Now I was really sure… and I honestly couldn't blame her. "She was a child," I say softly, "and both of you were monitored." She doesn't look surprised. "Sakura at school by her teachers."

"Sixteen is not a child?" She asks.

"No, I agree, sixteen is without a doubt still a child," I look over to Sakura, who is staring down at her plate, pushing around food. "But the nature of her personal tragedy changes how we have to approach these things. At the moment Sakura cannot stay in active duty while she is recovering physically, so I cannot watch over here there. I promise it'll only be a few days. Tonight she'll go meet with Tsunade and when she returns I'll be a lot less present."

"I should hope so," she says, her lips pursed together. This is a mother bear, and I am getting dangerously close to her cub.

Just then Sakura stands up, pulling my plate away from me and carrying it to the kitchen. "Kakashi and I are going to go see how much training we can get in," she says, her voice sounding stronger than it had in a long time. "I can't just sit around and get fat, can I?" Her mother returns her daughter's kiss on the cheek without breaking eye contact with me and watches as we leave, closing the door behind us. "Want me to pull out those daggers from your back?" She asks sardonically as we go down the front steps towards the training grounds.

I chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck. "You really up to train?"

She winces slightly, "I really should…"

"Want to run? Or do some-"

"I want to hit stuff," she says, looking straight ahead. I smile. Of course she does. A few hours later we sit on opposite sides of the beat up tree trunk Sakura had been hitting. The air is cold, strictly speaking, but our body temperatures are warm enough that our typical ninja garb still feels too hot. I've removed my vest, not that it's done that much good, and Sakura has unzipped her vest. "Thank you," she says softly. "That's just what I needed."

I nod, but don't reply for a moment. "You… ready for tonight?"

"Ready for it to be over," she scoffs.

"And… this is what you want, right? No second thoughts?" I bite my nail hesitantly. I shouldn't be asking. This is what she needs to do; I'll just make it harder for her.

She turns to look at me, and then settles back into the tree truck. "I want food," she says evenly.

"Wanna go get something?" I ask, glancing at the sky. She should be hungry, it's after noon already, she didn't even finish breakfast this morning. She glances back at the city and I see the look of discomfort cross over her face. Someone she doesn't want to see, perhaps? "Or I could make you something," I offer softly. I wasn't a bad cook, but the only time I ever cooked for women outside of missions was breakfast right before said woman left, usually without looking back. But then there's probably some exception to the rule for sixteen year old girls who need someone to lean on and obviously don't want to go home. "I can't make anything special, but I'll do my best." She looks at me for a long time and then nods.

"Alright," she says so quietly I hardly hear it, getting to her feet. "Lead the way."

Once we're at my place she politely takes off her shoes and steps as quietly as possible. I blush a little at the mess down the hall, kicking my clothes into the laundry room. "I meant to do them last night," I explain gently.

"You've seen my mess of a room," she says with a shrug, looking around the room shamelessly. "I haven't been here in a while," she mutters, her eyes settling on the picture of Naruto, Sai, and herself. I took down the one that had Sasuke in it a few years ago, but I can see she's looking for it. Why torture herself? She doesn't say much as I cook, but then I don't either. She finds some plates for us though, and cleans up as I finish with things, leaving my kitchen cleaner than it had been when she got here.

"Want to do the rest of the house?" I ask with a chuckle.

She shrugs, "sure," I'm about to tell her I'm joking when her eyes meet mine and the words she was thinking come out. "As long as I don't have to go home." She didn't mean to say that, I can tell, so I ignore it and simply nod, setting down the food at the counter and fishing out some chop sticks.

I pull down my mask after only a moment, feeling naked without it, but not wanting to make it weird, turning my back to her to eat. She stares at me for a long time, however, making me roll my eyes. "What?"

She shakes her head, taking a bite, "it's good," she says, sounding surprised. "Did your mother teach you how to cook?"

"No," I say softly. "My teammate, Rin," I simile. "She was a horrible cook, and got fed up with my complaining, so she bought me a cook book and said I could do the cooking."

"Must be something about medics," Sakura says, staring at me for a while, and my smile fades. "Miss it already," she says, blushing. I in turn blush as well, realizing she's talking about my smile. "Are you not wearing your mask to make up for the fact that you saw me naked?"

I choke on my food at that point, and she sits and watches, amused. "You timed that well," I say after taking a drink. She smiles. "It's not like I was looking," I say simply.

"Yeah, but you still saw," she say with a shrug, "this is obviously your way of making the playing field even. I will have you know, in terms of a trade: my body does not equal your face, pretty as it may be."

"You think my face is pretty?" I ask with a smirk.

"Bull shit," she says, flicking a grain of rice at me. "You know it's pretty. That's why you wear the mask, so you'll be taken seriously. So you won't be used for seduction missions."

"So young girls don't go falling in love with me," I supply, amused that she pieced together my most basic reasoning. "Seriously, I'm flattered, Sakura… but I think we should just be friends."

She laughs; a real laugh that brings a smile to my face. Once we've finished eating she asks hesitantly if she can take a shower, leaving me to run back to her place to sneak in and get her some new clothes: an 'S' rank mission where I was not to spend too much time in her underwear drawer. When I return, having safely evaded her mother, I leave the clothes neatly folded outside the bathroom door and return to the laundry room, sorting the clothes I had thrown in there into darks and underwear, realizing for the hundredth time that I really don't own anything light. I fill the washer, so I can just start it once I get the chance, and meander around the house, at a loss. When I finally hear the shower open and the bathroom door open a crack I sigh, thinking of how my water bill will be affected by that monster shower. In a few moments she joins me, her hair wet and eyes a little red.

"You alright?" I ask, sitting up. She just nods, coming to sit next to me on the couch. "You've been crying," I say softly.

"Yes," she responds, "I do that a lot these days."

"Did you want to…" I falter, unsure, "talk about it?"

She smiles, "maybe someday, right now… I want a drink." I raise an eyebrow. "I think I deserve one."

I'm about to make a comment about how she's pregnant, but then realize it doesn't really matter. I weigh the benefits of helping her when she needs it to the drawbacks to contributing to the delinquency of a minor and then get up. "Let me see what I have."

By the time midnight rolls around Sakura's passed out on the couch, smiling softly. Good. Damn it, she needs to smile when she's sleeping. I smile as I stare at her, regretting that I'll have to wake her up here pretty soon, and then glance around the room, surprised by how clean it is. Usually when people drink over here there's a big mess afterward, Sakura kept things surprisingly tidy. I sigh, putting away the bottle of sake and then going over to the couch, putting a soft hand on her shoulder. "Sakura," I mutter. She doesn't stir. "Sakura, wake up," I give her a slight shake, and then find her hand at my throat.

I raise an eyebrow in amusement as she settles back down, realizing who I am. "Sorry," she mutters, rubbing her head.

"No problem," I say with a smile. "That was good, by the way, would've been better had you woken up on your own, but it was still pretty good."

"Thanks," she says, blushing. "Is it time to go?" I nod and she sighs, staring down at her belly. "Alright, let's get this thing out of me." I frown slightly and she catches it. "Don't give me that. Anything related to him has got to be part monster. You know that." I nod sadly. It'll be easier if she believes that.

Sakura puts on one of my sweatshirts with a hood and my old Anbu mask and then follows me along the roof tops towards the hospital. Tsunade meets us there, not saying a word, but nodding for us both to follow her. She leaves me in the waiting room, while she and Shizune escort Sakura into a back room. I sit down, patiently staring at the doors and chewing on the inside of my lip. I tell myself this will put things back to normal, fix things. Maybe it will. But I doubt it.

* * *

September 19th, Year 4

As I draw my fingers over her hip she brings up her shoulder, as if shielding herself from me, but I see the slight smile that tugs at her lips, the way she presses up against me slightly with every touch. "Sunshine," I whisper, pulling my hand from her hip to her waist, dipping closer to the mattress. She makes a noise of understanding. "You told me to wake you up," I whisper.

She bolts up without a thought, rolling over me in a moment and disappearing into the bathroom. A moment later I hear the shower turn on. I sigh and roll back over, not wanting anything to do with Sakura's meeting with Kurenai, Fumi, and Harumi. They were going to cause more trouble, telling Sakura all about how horrible it is to be stuck at home with kids all day, and in Harumi and Kurenai's cases, be left out of the team and missions. She'd swear off of kids forever at this rate. Damn them. She needs to spend more time with Ino and Hinata, who are both going a little baby crazy. I sigh, realizing I know far too much about the women in this town's take on babies. Shikamaru had picked it apart with me the other day, trying to find the right way to approach the subject with Kurenai.

When the bathroom door opens Sakura comes out in a towel, rushing around the bedroom. I bury my head in the pillows and try to fall back to sleep. No luck. When I glance back up I see Sakura hopping around on one foot, trying to put on her shoes as she puts in earrings. "Have fun," I mutter with a little wave.

"Kakashi, I was going to do it before I left," she starts, making me groan. "Would you mind just running by Tunade's office. She had a book she wanted me to read about the reaction of-"

"I'll do it," I say quickly. Not like I had anything else planned for today.

She smiles, pausing. "Oh thank you hun," In a moment she's at the side of the bed, leaning over to kiss me. I smile, attempting to deepen the kiss. "Nope," she says, pulling away. "I'm late already, but when I get home… promise. Sex. Lots of it, I'm all yours tonight."

I smile. "You're all mine every night," I remind her.

She shrugs. "Only because I like your sheets," she kisses me once more, and then is out the door, not bothering to lock it behind her.

"I love you," I say to the empty room, hating myself for it immediately. She could have heard that. She didn't, but I need to be more careful. I roll out of bed about an hour later, pulling on some clothes, noting my sudden case of the hiccups, and starting for Tsunade's office. I wave to a few people here and there, resisting conversation to get Sakura's errand done before I forget, but I'm caught off kilter by Genma arguing with Gai about three blocks from my home. This is why I take the rooftops. "Yo," I say as I approach, slowing to a stop. I live way too close to other ninja. I should invest in a tree house outside of the city. I could live in a tree.

Gai begins his normal greeting, but I turn the first half out, and Genma soon cuts him off, leaving my attention on my teammate. "Kakashi, thank Kami," Genma says, "talk some sense into this guy. He's trying to brainwash my son."

"I've been doing it since he was born," I say with a shrug, hiccupping at the end of the sentence.

"Yeah, but you're much cooler than him," Genma says looking over Gai with such disapproval I feel a little of the aftershock.

"I simply am trying to reinforce the idea of-"

"Gai," I say easily, shaking off another hiccup. "They are fair game to brainwash once they're in the academy, ok? Before that, you leave them alone."

Gai laughs good heartedly, as he does, and claps me on the back. "Hey," Genma says with a frown. "Have you seen Kotetsu? He was asking around earlier… wasn't paying too much attention, but he seemed a bit frazzled." I smile at his word choice, recognizing it as one Fumi uses… a lot, but glance to the direction of the gates, then to Tsunade's office. The gates are closer… and it sounded more interesting… and I still needed to make up a reason for why I was picking up the book for Sakura, even though Tsunade would see right through it, so I turn towards the gates, waving at the two men behind me.

When I reach the gates Izumo waves at me, Kotetsu's usual seat empty. "Hey, Izumo," I say evenly. "I hear- damn hiccups- I hear Kotetsu was looking for me, any idea about what?"

"What?" He asks, confused. "Either word travels fast or I have no fucking clue, but this girl just came through the gates not two minutes ago, asking for you and talking about flowers… roses I think, it was weird."

"Roses?" I ask, confused. "Did she- say anything else?"

"Yeah, enough to fill a book," he laughs. "Couldn't understand a word of it. She had a picture of you when you were in Anbu, only reason we figure out anything she meant. She was speaking in a language I didn't recognize."

My heart beats a little faster. Roses? "What'd she lo- look like?" I ask.

Izumo frowns. "Tall, skinny, long, really light hair, dark, grey eyes…" he holds his hands out in front of his chest, making me raise an eyebrow.

"Breasts?" I supply.

"Big ones," he says with a nod.

"Where's she now?" I ask; palms suddenly sweaty.

"Kotetsu took her to Tsunade," I'm already gone before Izumo can say another word. Shizune's desk is empty when I get to Tsunade's office, leaving me to let myself in. I already know what I'll find.

"Tsunade," I say as I come in, making eye contact first with Kotetsu, who looks very confused, then with Shizune, who looks on the verge of laughter, and finally with Tsunade, who does not look pleased. "I heard- there was someone looking for me…"

I trail off, eyes settling on the girl sitting in the chair across the desk from Tsunade, her hair so blonde it almost looked white, that went half way down her back, and the big dog at her feet, a silver kind of black, with a cropped tail and a happy face. I watch as the girl stands, her motions fluid and easy, trained to act every part a lady. Yes, this girl was from the west. A foreigner and everything about her was familiar. A woman I had known far too long ago… Rose…

Yet when she turned I knew I was wrong. Her hair was too light, too straight, her figure too thin, she was too young. And when her eyes met mine, they weren't the same sapphire blue I remember so well… but a dull bluish-grey. "Kakashi," Tsunade says. "As much as I can figure… she knows you, and her name is Lily."

When Lily speaks the words they're foreign to my ears, but I know what they mean. I'd heard Rose say the first few to me, upon our meeting, and the last one she'd said often enough when we had been traveling together. I was supposed to be protecting her and her father, traveling traders. What did the Hokage expect? Sending a seventeen year old boy, alone, to protect some man and his daughter, gorgeous enough to be called Rose?

The red lips part into a smile, and she holds her hands delicately in front of her, a stance of a lady who was used to maneuvering around heavy skirts, though said skirts are absent today. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you… father."

Well… at least my hiccups are gone.


End file.
